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You Know Your Spouse Is Cheating But Why?

A cheating spouse is all too common. Were there signs? Maybe. The way they would be on the phone but get very quiet when you entered the room. Their body language at times seemed unfamiliar to what you had become accustomed to. Maybe they even became a little more argumentative when there was no reason for it. Whether they showed signs or not is inconsequential. Like anyone who has been hit with an unpleasant truth, you keep asking yourself one question: why?

According to statistics compiled by the online website Infidelity Facts, 57% of all men confess to cheating on their partner regardless of whether it is dating or marriage. And what about women? We usually are told that women are more faithful in their relationships. The answer is yes they are but not by much. In the same study, 54% of women admitted to being unfaithful. This may explain why the divorce rate in the U.S. now stands at 53%. Of course there are many causes why marriages end but there is no doubt that infidelity is a prime force. So why do people do it?

1. No One Loves Me Like
Even though a person maybe in a relationship with someone who does everything in their power to please them, they still feel like they are not getting the love they deserve. In many instances that is just a flat out lack of communication. No one is a mind reader. Telling themselves it is different with the new person because they happened to guess your needs and desires is all well and good but what happens when their fortune-telling skills come up short? Then they move onto someone else still using the same excuse; “no one understands them like (fill in blank) does”.

2. It Ain’t What It Was
Many couples go into a relationship with a full ahead of steam. The passion and love appear endless. And then reality sets in. The passion and love may not come to a halt but they definitely cool off. Since the couple did not go about doing the day to day grunt work of building a healthy relationship, they look elsewhere to get that fire going again. They may find it but without making the commitment to build a solid foundation, it will only be a matter of time before they start searching all over again.

3. The Thrill of the Sneak
It is human nature to get a feeling of exhilaration when you are able to do something on the down low and not get caught. People know it is reckless but do it anyway. In fact when the stakes are higher and the consequences of getting caught are more severe, this seems to motivate people even more to take the plunge.

4. Because I Want To
No great mystery here. People want what they want. Period. They will not deny themselves the pleasure of someone new and attractive. Whether their spouse or dating partner finds out is a moot point. Their ego says go for it and they always do what their ego tells them.

To list all the reasons why people cheat in their relationship would take five years worth of Oprah shows to just scratch the surface but you can probably put the four mentioned above at the top of the list. None of this makes it okay but we have to deal in the real world. Infidelity exists; always has, always will. Accepting that fact will guarantee you are not caught off guard by any unpleasant surprises which may occur.

find out how to deal with the reality of an unfaithful partner

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Listed: May 7, 2008 12:10 pm