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Winning Back Your Ex in Six Easy Steps

If all you want to do is reconcile with your ex, then this isn’t the time for you to lose your head. If you can stay calm and focused, there are things that you can do to help get your ex back and they aren’t really that hard to do.

One, ‘give it a rest’. Stay away from your ex for a month or so. This will give you both some breathing room. Although it may not feel like it, this “vacation” will do both of you a world of good. A short period of separation gives you a better chance of reconciling with your ex.

Two, don’t take your advice from the movies; Hollywood is not real life. Movie writers fix the script. The old Hollywood standby of friends bailing each other out or the even less likely scenario of the person’s ex returning out of the blue just isn’t going to happen. Only you can fix your problems. You know better than anyone what you want and what you need. Once you take responsibility for the negative feelings and replace them with a more positive outlook, things will get better.

Three, there is no heartbreak handyman. You can’t dump your problems on someone else and expect them to just ‘fix it’. Your friends and family can be a source of strength at this time and you should certainly spend time with people who love you and who only want the best for you. But you can’t depend on them to do all the heavy lifting. If you take responsibility for your problems while surrounding yourself with loved ones, by the end of the month you will be in a better place to win back your ex.

Four, don’t walk around with your head in the storm clouds; shake those blues. That month long break is a good time to work on yourself. Use your alone time to explore who you were before you met your ex and who you are now. Got a lot of spare time on your hands? Use it to experiment with any self improvement techniques that you would like to try. That way when you do start talking to your ex again, he or she will see a new you and may be much more likely to want to make a new start with you.

Five, your ex can’t ‘fix it’ either. Again, this is not a movie. The script writers have not predetermined a happy ending for you. That has to come from you. If you want your ex back, you alone can make it happen.

Six, if you think that time heals all wounds, you are only partly right. Remember time is only one element. Problems don’t go away on their own. Whatever problems caused the breakup in the first place need to be resolved. Most important, you need to let go of the past. This isn’t always easy to do, but until you do, you aren’t truly ready for a reconciliation. If you can let go, you may just get the happy ending you wanted.

chris jensen is a contributing author of jetfly shop. for more related articles and views visit jetfly marriage

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Listed: August 13, 2008 1:53 am