This is continued from part one of this article series. Please read that before you read this article. Can such a couple change? Yes, even a couple which shares everything perfectly changes in relationship when decisions about values have to be taken. If one of the partners has very strong values about something they will not surrender that under any circumstances. For example, you have a sense of what is right and what is wrong. I also have my sense of right and wrong. If I believe very strongly in my sense, I will never accept what you want me to do. If you think that lie is Ok if life can be carried on and if I believe that lie is unacceptable, can we ever share the same relationship? This test does not come immediately after the relationship, but after some months or years. We suddenly find that our values are in strong conflict with our partner and whatever effort we make is useless to change their point of view. At that point love turns bitter. As if suddenly some sour thing was added to a sweet.

Are you hurting your partner with your words?

When a relationship begins breaking down, verbal war begins as a first sign. Old wounds are revisited and spoken about partners. Everything that was forgiven and forgotten suddenly gets a new life. This kind of behavior further complicates the situation. The point that we wish to make is simple. Even if you have decided to break up, do not hurt your partner with your words. Take your own time to reflect upon things that are going wrong. Do not react immediately. We all are human beings and all of us make mistakes. Some of us make big mistakes while others make small mistakes. But none of us can say that they have never done anything wrong.

Do not add to the wrongs by fighting verbally with your partner with what you feel they did. They may not have done that at all! Are we serious- yes, we are very much serious. Sometimes we are wrong about our judgments. We think that the other person means something that hurt us, but the truth may be opposite.

Think, reflect and give time to the wounds to show the true nature. You will be filled with two kinds of thoughts- along with the hurt you received from your partner; you may also feel guilt about what all you said and did. Hitting other person for his/her wrongs is easier than hitting oneself for the mistakes one makes. Guilt is always overpowering emotion. You will not rest in peace unless the other person pardons you, you pardon yourself and are pardoned by God. But even after that the guilt may persist.

We are all human beings as we said. All of us make mistakes. Maybe our partner made much bigger mistakes than we did. But before blaming the other person let us think also about what we did. That may give us a new insight to the relationship. Hurt will not go away easily. But you will at least have some logical thinking in place because emotions always make us lose thinking power.

the author writes text messages and advises for internet and social networking content like myspace surveys and myspace graphics. he also writes quizzes on subjects like personality, etc.

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