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What To Do When Your Honeys Friends Do Not Like You


There is nothing worse than finding your ideal mate and then finding that their friends cannot stand you. This happens more often than you may think and even when you and your honey have really hit it off you still may not be able to click quite right with her friends. Luckily, there are some things that you can do to take away from the dislike that her friends have for you instead of feeding into the dislike and making an uncomfortable situation one that causes the breakup of the two of you.

When you realize that your love interest’s friends don’t like you, you shouldn’t get mad and you shouldn’t get defensive. What you should do is talk to your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Tell them why you think that their friends may not like you, give them specific examples. Ask them for their opinion and ask them why you may not be liked. If they brush it off, perhaps you should try too. If you have specific things that come to mind that make you think that his or her friends do not like you, bring them up as they come up so you can work through them together.

Consider that your honey’s friends may be jealous. Close friends often feel jealous when their friend starts dating someone that they really like. Give his or her friends some time to get used to your relationship and see if they don’t warm up to you. Make sure that you give your honey time with their friends and really support these bonds so that the friends don’t feel like you have been chosen over them. This can help those initial tensions between new lovers and old friends.

The best thing you can do when you pick up on vibes that the friends don’t like you is to simply be nice. Be yourself, but always put your best foot forward. When they are nasty toward you, you can respond in kind or you can keep things really cordial and friendly. As the saying goes, you can kill them with kindness. Eventually they will either warm up to you or your honey will see the problem and act on it for you.

Reach out to the friends and plan dates with all of you so you can all spend time together. The friends may see this as a great way to spend time with their long time buddy while warming up to you. This may also allow the friends to see that you don’t mean to take their friend away and that you will fit into their lives instead of taking their friend out of it.

Just keep reaching out and give it time, eventually you will either have to start getting along or they’ll have to back off! But when you do this you are allowed to be the good guy instead of the bad guy, which is important if you want to keep dating the same person.

rodrigo rehn is a relationships expert, linux systems administrator, web programmer, php developer and ceo of faceromance online dating for singles.

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Listed: October 7, 2008 8:08 pm