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What to Do If Your Boyfriend is Abusing You


He seemed so loving. He seemed so nice when he courted you. He often told you how much he loved you. You were both happy. After just a few months, you notice some changes. He slapped you after a few arguments. He tells that you’re a slut. And you take it all. You think it’s your entire fault why he’s suddenly not the same person as he is before. He hurts you but you love him still. If this is what’s been happening to you, then you’re in big trouble, girl.

Some characteristics of an abusive relationship include verbal and emotional abuse. If you have an abusive boyfriend, he’ll most likely make you feel loved but unloved at the same time. What do I mean by this? After hurting you and calling you horrible names that makes you feel so unloved and unwanted, he’ll most probably hug and kiss you right after to make you feel good about yourself again. This can go on and on. Most of the time, he’ll tell you it’s your fault and you’ll believe him. And he’ll hurt you again. He’ll make you feel worthless. There is so much more to life than staying in that offensive relationship. Contrary to what your boyfriend is saying, you can actually do something to end it.

• Determine what causes his behavior

Observe why, when and how he gets mad. Does he get angry when he sees you with other men? Does he try to talk you out of wearing short dresses? This could be a sign of extreme jealousy. You can try to avoid going through these situations first if you really want to save your relationship. Provided, that he has not hurt you physically because if he does, then that’s a different story.

• Disregard his abusive remarks

If you’ll take to mind everything that he’s been saying to you, you’ll soon find yourself losing your confidence and self-esteem. Let him call you whatever names he can think of. Remember that sticks and stones can hurt your bones but words can never hurt you. Especially if you know that you’re worth more than what he’s trying to make you feel.

• Keep a self defense item on hand

You may not know when you’ll need one but its better that you purchase either a pepper spray or mace spray now. Don’t hesitate to blast him with it once he starts to become violent. Don’t wait until he starts to hurt you. Verbal abuse can be something you can take but physical abuse is something you should majorly be concerned about. No woman deserves to be hurt. Especially not you.

• Seek your family’s assistance

Don’t keep everything to yourself. Tell someone what you’re going through. Tell your family and friends so you know that you have support persons if anything goes out of hand. Ask for advice and listen to them. You’ll know your worth and regain your self esteem if you have someone to tell you how much you are being loved.

• Get out of the relationship

If you think you’ve had enough, then there’s nothing much you can do now but leave your abusive boyfriend. You deserve better. Move on.

Annabelle Lehoux is Judo instructor and the co-founder of Self Defense Products Depot which offers large variety of gadgets such as taser, dummy camera, metal detector and bear spray for your personal and home security. To learn more on how these products can help your situation, please visit http://www.self-defense-products-depot.com/

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Listed: November 11, 2011 12:03 am