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What Are The Different Stages Of Attraction?


If we analyze the way we respond to other people, we will realize that we feel magnetized by some and repulsed by some others. The magnitude of feelings for others is a direct measure of how attracted we are to them, or how deep our interest runs for these people. It all starts out with the initial meeting. We meet someone and spend time on casual conversation with him or her. Then we get to know more about his or her personality and our interest deepens. Subsequent to these, we feel like the other person has become a friend who we can talk to about anything. The relationship goes from formal to informal, from casual to personal and from strict to easygoing.

If we delineate the differences among the different stages of attraction, we come up with a short list of what actually happens when we fall in love with a person. These steps are illustrated in the following list.

Attraction to Physical Appearance

A person’s outward appearance is the first thing that others notice. A person who has ‘good looks’ will seem more captivating to someone who likes a particular thing about the way that person carries herself or himself. Some like brunettes, blondes and redheads; while others like men and women with jet black hair.

Liking another person’s way of dressing is also considered a part of the attraction to physical appearance. As the cliché goes, beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder. What is pretty to someone could be mundane to another person. Another angle to this stage of attraction is getting attracted to a person’s sex appeal. There are people who are not particularly good looking but manage to inspire desire in everyone they meet.

Attraction to Personality

After the initial physical attraction comes the fascination with personality. In a sense, getting to know what makes a person laugh or smile, if he laughs or smiles at all, is like filling a black and white picture with color.

A person could be more attracted to a polar opposite of his personality. Some extroverts may prefer the company of other extroverts because they can do the same activities and share the same experiences. Introverts may also prefer extroverts to other introverts because the former increases the chances to overcome shyness or timidity, a trait associated with being an introvert. There is no clear cut rule to evaluating what combination works. It all depends on the environment where the partnership is needed. In a business environment, a union with members showing opposite personalities could work in such a way that what one lacks, the other supplies.

Attraction to Intellect

When you find yourself getting attracted to the way a person thinks and puts his or her thoughts into words, you know that your relationship with that person has gone deeper. Getting to this stage of attraction means you have spent time talking to this person and finding out what his views are about different issues or concepts. The way he or she conveys ideas could be very attractive, particularly if you are a person who appreciates a healthy discussion about everything.

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Listed: October 9, 2008 8:08 pm