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Ways to Win Back Your Ex: How to Win Back Your Ex After a …


If you’ve really messed up in a relationship – and we all have – you need to know how to win back your ex. Making mistakes and inadvertently causing a break up can happen in many different ways.

Sometimes things start out great in a relationship and we get too casual, taking the other person for granted and letting ourselves slip into bad habits. Other times, we are just too preoccupied to devote the attention to our significant other that they deserve. And sometimes we make mistakes when we’re stressed out, tired, or unhappy about some other area of our lives, and end up taking it out on the ones we love. Whatever mistake you made that brought about your break up, don’t despair. It’s possible to win back your ex with some common sense.

If you know that you messed up big-time, your ex probably does, too. The most important thing – and maybe the only thing – that you can say is “I’m sorry.” It may be hard to admit your mistakes and take the blame, but if you want to win your ex back you’re going to need to fess up.

Apologizing along with a gift, flowers, or a handwritten letter is good, but don’t let these extras do the talking for you. There is nothing that can substitute for the two simple words: “I’m sorry.”

There can be a wide variety of reactions to your apology. This depends on the situation and the personality of your ex. An apology could amend things and get you back together on the spot. Be prepared, however, for your apology to trigger some unpleasant feelings in your ex. Your ex may have a lot of anger to work past before you can make up, so be ready to deal with these negative feelings. Just be patient and loving as you talk through whatever emotions come up.

Know that apologizing alone isn’t enough. It’s also important to let your ex know that you’ve changed. Your ex may be worried that if you were to get back together, the same old fights will begin again. You need to give them some concrete reassurances that this will not be the case. If you’ve had a particularly poignant experience that has made you turn your behavior around, now is the time to describe it. Try your hardest to offer your ex some proof that you really have changed whatever behavior caused the break up the first time, and that you will never have to apologize for this same kind of behavior in the future.

Anybody can make mistakes. It’s human nature. Unfortunately in a relationship, sometimes our mistakes hurt other people and cause us to break up. But all is not lost if you’ve already broken up. Couples make up after break up all the time, but only when the guilty party stands up and confesses to their part in the breakup. A sincere apology and reassurance of change is the best route to win back your ex.

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Listed: March 28, 2009 8:08 am