Admit it. The day your boyfriend asked you to marry him, regardless of how his marriage proposal came about, and you happily accepted it was one of the high points of your relationship. And the events that followed -dinners in your honor, good-natured ribbing from family and friends, deeper relationship – were just icing on the engagement cake.

At some point, however, you have to land back to Earth from your heavenly perch. You have to successfully deal with pre-wedding fights before you can even think about sending out your wedding invitations. Otherwise, you can run the risk of runaway grooms and brides. Sad but true.

Money

Unfortunately, even the wealthiest of couples will fight about wedding expenses. This is because the traditions for sharing wedding costs vary from one culture to the next, such that even the issue of who pays for the wedding invitations varies depending on who does the asking and who answers the question.

Nowadays, the traditional rules about who pays for what are constantly being changed. Basically, it all depends on your financial capacity as a couple and the support system you have in the money area. Whatever arrangements you decide on as a couple, be sure to both be firm and flexible, from your wedding caterer to the wedding invitations.

On another future issue of money, you might also want to look at prenuptial agreements to protect your assets. Though this is a contentious relationship issue, you have to think about asset protection. Besides, this can be a very good exercise for trust, commitment and love.

Territory

Unless you are one of the lucky few whose fianc? wants to get married wherever you want to get married so long as he puts that wedding ring on your finger, you can fight about where you will get hitched. This is bad news as you have to consider his wishes, too, since you cannot get married to your self!

You must thoroughly discuss the personal reasons for each of your choices. Is it because family is nearer? Is it because expenses must be controlled? Is it because the place holds special meaning? Whatever the reason, you have to be willing to compromise and consider your partner’s reasons as valid in their own right.

Plus, you have to consider that you cannot retrieve all the wedding invitations you have already mailed and you will be spending more than your budget if you vacillate between venues!

Family

Unless you are both orphans, you must expect family issues to come to the fore during the pre-wedding planning. You have to keep in mind that not only will you be sharing a bed and a house with your future husband but you will also be sharing families! As old-fashioned as it sounds, you are marrying into a family.

And there is also the issue of who gets the lion’s share of the wedding invitations. You have to discuss whether you want to invite his obnoxious and rude uncles, pesky nieces and nephews to the wedding. You have to talk it out with your partner about who will be invited to the wedding from both your sides such that you arrive at an equitable number that you will both be satisfied with.

When you have substantially and successfully resolved these three pre-wedding fights, you are well on your way to pulling off your dream wedding with little damage to your relationship. Start sending out those wedding invitations!

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