Relationships especially, one that involves the family, is not as easy as ABC. There are many books and articles that have been written and published regarding this topic. Relationships between husband and wife are basic to the formation of the family for it is the basic unit of the society. What is the secret of successful marriage relationships? Is there a secret formula for one relationship to work out?

With the current financial crisis there are many couples who settle for a relationship, outside of a marriage vow. They call it trial relationships. They want to discover if their habits, interests and outlooks in life are compatible with each other. They also want to find out if they could afford to have children, so they settle to a relationship which is called “live in”. This kind of relations offers no guarantee as to the fidelity of the other partner.

There are some who become frustrated for they could not find the right partner who will stand by them through thick and thin. Number one reason for this is lack of maturity in either one of the partners. Maturity in terms of handling domestic responsibilities, as well as financial problems results to fight and disagreement. There are couples who could not agree on having children. The idea of family life and responsibility conflicts with their desire to gain more financial freedom and success in their chosen career.

There are couples who settle for marriage vows with the blessings of parents and other relatives inside a church. They believe that a good relationship should be blessed by each of their own families and God. These couple undergoes several stages as they start their married life. First, the honeymoon stage, this is the most memorable stage in the couples married life. This is the stage where they start to set their dreams of their future. They enjoy each others company without thinking of their responsibilities in their career or profession.

Adjustment period comes next, and I personally think that, this is the hardest. Living under one roof is different than just regularly seeing each other. There is always a conflict on every thing that the couple has learned and habits that they have acquired throughout life. Each one should adjust and try to understand the unique qualities of each individual. Criticisms should be done in the most tactful way and at the right time.

Next comes the bearing and bringing up of children. First, the couple needs to adjust their time for each other, for another member of the family will require new attentions and love. Husbands and wives should avoid disagreeing with each other in front of the growing children, for the young kids always follow and set their ideals in life after their parents. At this stage even the financial priorities of the couple should be adjusted to consider the growing needs for education and medical expenses.

The last stage is the retirement phase. There are couples who do not reach this stage together, due to differences of opinions, interests and lack of financial responsibility. Couples should work hard to achieve a successful life together. Marriage counselors are available to render services to couples who are experiencing marital problems.

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