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Throw and Go

I just wanted to share some thoughts with you today on the art of follow up.

The key is to follow up with everybody. This keeps you in a very social environment – it keeps you very socially engaged all day long.

Women should do the same thing; women should do follow up as well. Many women will not follow up with the guys that they have talked to, so in turn, the guys don’t follow up with them. You want to be able to go out, play, and just have a good time.

Even if you’re not interested in the person, following up is important because other people are always looking at you. Do you see how people have noticed us since we’ve been out here? You can see how people are checking us out, how people are stopping when they see us having fun.

If you’re walking through a mall and you see a woman that you’ve talked to before but aren’t really that attracted to, you can follow up and say, “what are you doing? Are you making laps around the mall?”

By either saying something playful or saying something based on what you remember from your previous conversation, the two other women that are walking in your direction will notice that – they will notice the woman smiling at you. This will give you instant social proof. Everyone wants to talk to the fun person. Nobody wants to be approached by the boring guy.

You’re basically building up your social energy. This is why I constantly stress how important it is to talk to EVERYBODY. You have to make yourself available – emotionally, mentally and physically.

This is where most guys make the biggest mistake – they wait and only talk to the one person that they are attracted to. Women make this same mistake. If you do this, you’re going to be so nervous that you won’t be able to actually speak to that person!

The longer you wait between conversations with people of the opposite sex, the bigger it gets built up and the more the monkey chatter increases in your head. You’ll get more nervous and the experience will become more traumatic.

Client: One of the techniques I use to help relieve the social tension or anxiety is much like you do – I compliment people or find something interesting to comment on. Once I’ve done that, I just let it go. Would you say that is a good tactic?

David: Compliments and comments are great because they have no outcome derivative. This is what we talked about earlier. Paying someone a wonderful compliment, like telling them they look great, basically opens up your energy. It’s like good karma.

You can just walk over to someone and say, “wow, that dress looks great on you” and don’t expect anything from them. You should never expect anything from anybody.

Client: It was like that girl with the tattoo last night. It was like the throw and go.

David: Exactly! The throw and go – that’s great terminology. This will keep up your social momentum, and it will also keep you in a good frame of mind. If you’re in a good mindset, you’ll feel good and you’ll stay open to opportunities.

Once again – the longer you wait between conversations the more difficult it becomes. You will start to lose your energy.

It’s a long day. If you think about it, going out and meeting people all day long is intense. By 7:00 at night, you’re exhausted. Let’s see what you guys feel like tonight at 8:00 when we sit down to have dinner. You’ll be beat.

This takes so much energy. You’re observing everything and you’re constantly aware. You’re fully awake all day long. Most people sleep through the day.

I had this talk with my cleint the other day and thought you would enjoy it….so what are you thoughts today?

hailed on fox news, the la times, the ny times, playboy and more… legendary dating coach launches a new revolution for over nearly 20 years david wygant has been earning the trust of american men and women looking to transform their love lives. (http://www.davidwygant.com)

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Listed: October 17, 2008 4:08 am