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The Vast Choices of Books on Relationships


These days, the number of books on relationships sitting on store shelves is almost unbelievable. Trying to figure out which one to choose can be a rather daunting task for a couple that is looking to keep their relationship from completely falling apart. It is said the average couple will invest in at least two to three different books trying to find a way to make their relationship better.

Looking at the best seller’s list, there is no doubt that relationship books are a hot topic. However, many find that what first seems like good advice really does not work in the long run. This is mostly because the advice only focuses on immediate problem behaviors that, over the course of time, will likely return in one way or another.

Many turn to books for information because it would seem to be the most logical source for information. Of the many things an individual is not taught in life, he or she will likely be required to take a class or read some information on the subject. However, learning skills is not always this easy.

Those who are looking to save their bond with each other generally want to do all they can to help make the situation better. Many times, individuals become confused, as much of the information they find from one book to another is contradictory and vague. Not being able to find a clear and definitive plan for help only adds to the anxiety of a situation.

Though it can be good to learn new and healthy behaviors, this typically only offers a temporary solution to problems, as it does not truly get to the root of a problem. Most books on this topic only scratch the surface of dealing with conflicts. That is why there are so very many different books on this very one subject.

Books that spend chapters on detailing the differences between men and women can be helpful to an extent; however, it still does not adequately address the issue of approaching conflict in a healthy manner. Until the root of a problem is addressed, many couples often spend their energy going in a never-ending cycle.

When the same problem seems to errantly persist, this can make couples feel not only helpless and hopeless but as if they are doomed to failure. However, of all the relationship books available, few lay out the concept that changing a behavior relies on knowing what sparks it. Once couples understand what is truly at the heart of their perceptions, it can be easier to work through problems as a couple.

Many couples have found the help they need when the premise is largely based on logic. Approaching problems based on logic often helps get past confusing emotions and focus on the issues at heart. It can help couples learn to face problems together rather than squaring off with each other.

Many assume that relationships are all about feelings and emotions. While these things play a large part, many never learn where logic can help in those very same problems. Books that can help show how logic has the ability to solve problems when emotions get in the way can be greatly beneficial for troubled couples.

When couples have the chance to successfully fix their relationship, many sigh with relief that they will never have to spend another dime for books on relationships again. Even though everyone knows there is no such thing as a trouble free couple, many will do whatever it takes to keep from revisiting that time and place when things were difficult and apprehensive.

andy west is a freelance writer for happyrelationships.com, which offers insightful books on relationships.

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Listed: May 7, 2008 12:09 pm