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The Significance of Your Significant Other

So your love life is deteriorating and you cannot find it in yourself to take the blame. Well, if a couple had something once they probably still have it and just cannot recognize that fact. In the early stages of the relationship there was a reason you called your love “my significant other”. Check out the dictionary and you find significant as “having or expressing meaning/ meaningful”. And guess what? Turn the dictionary to meaningful and what do you find? “Having meaning or to be significant.” Gee whiz, sort of like do unto others as you would have others to do unto you. If you are seeking this sort of information then you indeed do not want to lose the togetherness of your relationship.

More than often there is more than one area of failure in a relationship. As these failures become more and more prevalent blame is placed, and usually lands on the “other” one. No, No, No. If you have any desire to salvage this situation it is time for you to step up and accept responsibility. If you can take the time to discover within yourself situations you have caused (or aggravated when caused by another) you will gain strength necessary to heal. As this strength increases you will learn to recognize healing and your partner will most likely begin to waver in this direction.

Communication. One of the most important watch words in a loving relationship. Right now discover that communication does not mean “talk”. The greater half of communication is the ability to listen. And this does not mean “hearing”. When you learn the skill of listening you will learn where the other person is coming from. You may get a different perspective on problems and this will lead to positive results.

The other “greater” half of communication is the ability to talk. Not inane babbling but the ability to have clear concise thoughts and convey them to your partner. When you learn to do this in a positive manner you will find your partner more acceptable to solving problems. This, of course, will lead to open the door to solve the situation. Choosing the proper words for a situation is extremely important. In order to put a positive spin on a bad situation you must be careful of your partners sensitivities in certain areas. An important skill to develop is the right tone for a situation. Positive and constructive communication is a fabulous tool to use to salvage and save a failing relationship.

You have learned to listen and to talk effectively. Now take a shot at being honest. While this naturally would seem to fall within the spectrum of communication many people opt out of honesty when first repairing a relationship. Lying and concealing will just further deteriorate your situation. This honesty will include accepting responsibilities for past lies and deceits. If you want to heal you must open all avenues of healing. Insert just a bit of positive thought into your failing situation and you will find the solution you are looking for. And without a doubt this new found honesty should be coupled tightly to keeping your word. If your goal is to stay together and you have begun to communicate for heavens sake DO NOT BREAK any promise no matter how slight. Now doesn’t that seem to be a natural combination. The fact that people do not or will not put these two together is one large reason for failure of love.

There are many reasons you first felt love for your partner. And, no, not all of them are sexual. Difference between lust and love is that with lust we want from the other. Love is opposite. A basic definition of love is simply wanting what is best for the other with not thought of personal gain. Give it a try. Get an renewed feeling for the needs and wants of the other. When problems do arise speak up now. Do not wait for this particular pot to boil over! Do what is necessary to solve it now either through compromises or through simply doing for the other. Problem solved. Love enhanced. Relationship further and further up the road to recovery.

So here we are. The two of you have just about given up on a successful relationship. And here you have implemented listening, hearing, doing and feeling for the other. When it becomes natural you will reap benefit after benefit as you realize a love and understanding that was once only a dream.

gordon chandler http://squidoo.com/makeupmagic http://makeupmagic.info

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Listed: July 16, 2008 1:28 pm