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The Lack of Intimacy in Internet Dating


Internet dating services offers an opportunity to meet and connect with people from all around the world instantaneously. Never before have we had the possibility to discover intimate relationships so quickly and with seemingly little or no effort.

For the most part, we are left with little or no intimacy with others. There is no real connection that we make, save for the small percentage of individuals who actually follow-up with a physical encounter.

The individuals who meet face to face are still the minority on internet dating sites and it is the thousands in the majority whom I am speaking of who derive little or no satisfaction from their internet dating experience. They make feeble attempts at chatting or in emails and not surprisingly, they get the same in return.

The disconnect seems to derive from the fact that we do not view the profile name or picture that we are chatting/emailing with a real person. All too often, we don’t bother to complete full sentences in communicating with them or it is all to easy to just ignore their message after we have read it.

We can pretend easily enough that its not there, we didn’t see it or make false promises to ourselves that we will respond to it at a later time. You know very well that if you don’t respond within the first few minutes of reading an email or receiving any other form of communication, chances are you probably won’t at all.

Ultimately, there is no accountability. Think of it, if you meet someone in person, you would speak to them with full sentences and not ignore their comments or questions. You would have to respond and make an attempt at conversation.

At the very least, you would indicate to this person that it was nice meeting them but you are not interested, etc. and have some sense of closure of meeting and parting ways.

Even a work email has to be responded to sooner or later. We procrastinate when we don’t want to deal with the reality of something. We either dislike what needs to be done, fear it or don’t look forward to the amount of work involved. However, sooner or later, it must be done and so you do.

Not so with internet dating. We can procrastinate all we like and no one will be there to tell us otherwise. Various internet dating sites attempt to engage the user as much as possible and encourage communication with one another because they know if the users continue conversations, they will keep coming back to their site.

True, not everyone is a real person on internet dating sites; there are tons of scammers out there so we need to be careful. This unfortunately only encourages feeble attempts at intimacy on our part. However, the reality is we must all learn to be wise in life, let alone on the internet, and knowing who is real or not becomes a fine art.

Where to start you might ask? Simple. Intimacy begins with you. Begin by making your posts, comments, emails, etc. as real as possible. Talk and write in complete sentences, spell correctly, use good grammar and DON’T SHOUT, be courteous and kind at all times. It’s common sense really, these are to name just a few.

Sooner or later, someone will begin to notice that there is a real person talking back to them and you will be sure to attract others who care enough to respond in kind.

this article was written by shawn wilson, a member of the customer support team at datepad, where internet dating is always free. datepad has a massive directory of informative dating articles along with a great list of dating site reviews on their dating blog.

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Listed: October 29, 2008 4:08 am