So many people as me how to get over a breakup. They want to know how to stop obsessing over the ex-boyfriend or lover and get on with their life. This topic seems to be the most asked question in my work. Here are some easy tips to help you get over the one that broke your heart so that you can move on, date again and find true love.

1. First, take him/her out of your cell phone directory. Each time you pass his/her name when reviewing your contacts you will feel that pang of upset. Why put yourself through such agony? Remove any reminders of him or her in your home, car and workplace.

2. Stop telling your sad story of the breakup. Sure people want to help and give advice, but after a month you should be refraining from talking about your ex. Some talk about their ex as a way to feel close to them. As you disconnect from the pain of the romance, you can more easily move on to a better relationship.

3. Make a list of all his/her bad qualities. Okay, this may sound mean so you do not have to be awful about it. Think about the things you did not have in common. You want to convince your subconscious mind that he/she was not right for you anyway. Our mind tends to over-exaggerate how good things were in the past so this exercise will snap you out of those romantic delusions.

4. No more drive-bys. Stop making excuses to drive past his/her home or work or favorite hangout to see if the car is there or to catch a glimpse of your old flame. This behavior will keep you stuck and also destroy your self-confidence.

5. Come up with a mantra to say to yourself when you start thinking about your ex or begin to feel sad over the breakup. For example, “I deserve someone that completely loves and adores me.” Just like quitting a bad habit, a good positive mantra can be the antidote to redirect your mind into a more fulfilling romantic future.

6. Stop blaming yourself. If you are wondering if there was something you could have done to change your destiny, think again. When someone completely loves you, you are free to make mistakes. If there was enough substance, the person should be fighting to keep you in their life. If not, they are not meant for you.

7. Start hanging around new people. If your social group is connected with your ex, try to expand your circles outside of that environment. Changing up your life will help you have new positive experiences without the baggage from the past.

8. Build your confidence. The reason he/she broke up with you is not about you. The best way to get over a relationship is to increase your self-love so that you know that you deserve so much more than what you ex had to offer you. Using self-hypnosis is a great way to retrain your mind to love and accept yourself. Embracing your true lovable self will make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

9. Make a list of what you want in a relationship. You may have attracted the last person by default. Setting an intention to consciously attract someone who is a better fit is very powerful. You will find the person you design in your mind may be much different than your ex-love.

10. Visualize yourself happy. Spend at least ten minutes every day visualizing yourself happy in love with someone new. This may not be easy at first and might bring up some tears, but keep practicing this technique. Over time you will find this gives you a sense of inner peace and builds hope that you will find the love you truly deserve.

debra berndt is a relationship expert and certified hypnotic love coach, host of the love coach radio show, and author of the upcoming book, “let love in.” get free attract love mp3 download and her weekly dating advice newsletter from her website at attractreallove.com

Related posts:

1. Ways to Win Back Your Ex: How to Win Back Your Ex After a … If you’ve really messed up in a relationship – and we all have – you need to know how to win back your ex. Making mistakes and inadvertently causing a break up can happen in many different ways. Sometimes things start out great in a relationship and we get too casual, taking the other person […]…
2. Easy Ways To Revive A Relationship When relationships are fresh and new everything is wonderful and everyday is a new beginning. But if the relationship becomes a long-term arrangement then it is likely that some of the enthusiasm will be lost over time. Life simply takes a toil on us. We have to divide our time among duties and responsibilities as […]…
3. Stop Your Breakup Today to Start a Lifetime of Love Breakups with boyfriends and husbands are one of the most emotionally draining and physically exhausting ordeals women go through. We’ve all been there – the endless tears, sleepless nights, obsessive thoughts, overwhelming depression. If you’re in the middle of a breakup now, you know all too well how the end of a relationship affects every […]…
4. 5 Ways to Save Your Relationship Even though some breakups seem to come out of the blue, it can be just as painful, or even more so, when you and your partner no longer love one another. Is compromising or budging something neither of you will do because your are both equally bull-headed? If you have that dreaded feeling that a […]…
5. How to Forgive and Let Go of the Past! Next to love, forgiveness is the most misunderstood concept. Forgiveness has been twisted by a lack of awareness as to how it functions. To forgive does not mean we must rejoin with our ex-lovers, free criminals from prisons, return to old jobs or anything else absurd. We are taught to believe that if we are […]…
6. 3 Ways To Get Back Together With Your Girlfriend If You … You were happy together, your friends said that you were the perfect couple, you had long-term plans… so what went wrong? The truth of the matter is that there are lots of great couples out there that break up and then can’t find a way to get back together. If you are in a place […]…
7. Revealing Our Past You can’t help but read in many magazines on the topic of discussing your sexual past with your current partner. Most, if not all of them, tell the reader that there is no need or reason to reveal your intimate history to your partner. For the most part I disagree with them. There are positives […]…
8. Ten Things Not to Give Out As Wedding Favours The tradition of giving out wedding favours is a real old one. Blame it on the European aristocrats, While porcelain, crystals and precious stones were the practices of the old, the modern-day brides grooms have evolved into more practical beings. The new trend in wedding favours: practical, memorable and personalised. However, there have been quite […]…
9. 5 Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship Is your love not paying attention to you lately? When you’re at a stage where your love regards you as their second priority, this can be a problem that leads to a boring relationship. A boring relationship can often lead to breakups and even affairs. Perhaps the only thing you’re missing is just a little […]…
10. How to Get Over a Serious Breakup One of the hardest things to do in life is to break off a long term relationship, engagement, or marriage. Yet sometimes what’s even harder is getting back out there and trying to start over again. There are tons of experts and authors who all claim to have proven systems for getting over serious relationships. […]…