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Surviving A House Move And Staying Married

There are many pitfalls to moving house. It is no coincidence that the stress of moving house is put on a par with divorce and death. In fact, during the whole moving process you are very likely to come close to both other stress factors of death and divorce – either yours or someone else’s.

It is very rare for both parties in a relationship to get the moving bug at the same time and after months of badgering one or the other will back down. Amid resentment and irritation the house will go on the market, you will both emotionally and mentally uproot yourselves from your home and, already feeling like a nomad, let the tension begin.

If it’s the female party that has decided a move is on the cards, every weekend will be filled with a flurry of housecleaning to make a good impression on prospective buyers. The male party will find himself railroaded into all those little jobs on the exterior of the house which would normally have got left until they were forgotten about. This is partly due to the female wanting to express good ‘kerb appeal’ and partly due to her wanting the male out from under her feet so she can get the house ship shape.

How come she couldn’t make the house look like this when you just lived there? How come the weekends once involved climbing over piles of washing and old papers and avoiding each other’s grumpiness and now the grumpiness has taken a turn for the worse in a regular cleaning frenzy?

Shopping for a new home is always fraught with difficulties. You want room for a snooker table and she wants a bigger kitchen. In the end, you compromise. She gets the bigger kitchen and you get a shed at the bottom of the garden.

So, you get to that point when the house is sold. You have accepted an offer and the packing begins. You want to make things easier so you find a removal company together. It now comes to light that you really should have designated jobs to do when moving house because anything that requires joint decisions is fuel for a fight.

Her indoors wants the pristine clean, hunky removal men and you want a removal company that are simply going to get everything to your destination with all your furniture in one piece, preferably before you grow old and die.

Amid a conversation over which removal company to use, point out some insignificant bit of dust that she’s missed, such as the top of the doorframe and in your other half’s panic to clean to a shine, you will get the opportunity to ring the removal company of your choice and book it all before she puts down her jay cloth.

Pick a removal company that will supply packing boxes. There is nothing worse than trawling the supermarkets begging for old boxes before they get crushed. Once your boxes are delivered be prepared for the utter shock when you realise just how much stuff you have accumulated over the years.

Be ruthless. If you haven’t used it for a year, what is the point in keeping it? More to the point, what is the point in paying a removal company to drag it all to the new house and having to unpack it all over the following months just to have it sit there, unused, for another month?

Be sneaky and be clever. Let the female see all that stuff you have to move! She won’t want it all in her new kitchen so she will feel the need for a bigger house to accommodate it. When she’s out scrubbing the plants to a pristine shine to impress the viewers, dispose of all that stuff secure in the knowledge that you’ll have a place big enough for that snooker table after all!

relationship expert catherine harvey looks at how to choose a removal company to ease the stress of moving house.

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Listed: May 7, 2008 2:16 pm