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So How Often Are You Getting It

Sexual relationships are a very precarious minefield. It doesn’t seem to matter how often you are getting it, someone else is getting it more, they’re more fulfilled, and it’s more exciting. Do not believe all you hear, particularly if you’re in the pub after a few beers.

Sexual relationships will change constantly throughout life, no matter if you’re young, old, married or single. The old myth that you peak in your late teens and early twenties is dispelled by many in their fifties, sixties and beyond. There are young people who can’t get any and old people who get more than most of us could ever dream of.

Most people will go through a phase in their early years where they go at it like rabbits, they then find this tails off for other interests later on. In fact, in a survey carried out by Sharps, the bedroom specialists, sex actually came out tenth on the list of things people liked to do with their bedroom time. Ahead of this was sleep, computer games and work. Is this is a sign of our times and should we make a concerted effort to change it for the sake of our sexual relationships?

For some people, their sexual relationships in their younger years are plagued by lack of self confidence. As they get older and their priorities change, they can come out of themselves and enjoy very fulfilling sexual relationships.

Couples with children find this is a bit of an obstacle to a varied sexual relationship with their partners and snatched moments of passion are as good as it gets for a while. The trick to a lasting, fulfilling relationship is to ensure this doesn’t become the norm.

In a Durex survey it was found that the average couple will make love 127 times per year. Those that were married came out at 98 times per year with co-habiting couples reaching a peak of 146 times per year. This by no stretch of the imagination means that couples that live together enjoy a better sex life.

Depleted sexual relationships are often due to outside pressures. Work, finances, child rearing, and everyday pressures of life can cause even the most committed couple to let something go. Another hiccup in this whole sexual saga is the mounting pressure on women to be everything to everyone. They are often working full time to supplement the family income, they usually bear the bulk of the child rearing and home making and are still expected to have model like looks and perform like a whore in the bedroom.

Also from the Durex survey comes the news that single people get sex on average 49 times per year. There’s still hope for me yet then! Of course, the survey doesn’t tell us whether this was with another person or not and if so, can it count? Sex toys are used by single people and couples in loving sexual relationships alike. They’re advertising bumpf claim that using these items will spice up you r sex life.

Choosing time with friends over sex with a partner is what 22% of people polled prefer to do and 10% prefer partaking in sports or shopping expeditions. This just goes to show that sex is not the be all and end all of any relationship but just a part of it.

At the end of the day, sexual relationships come and go through life. Some are mind-blowing, some are mundane but with a person you love more than life itself, some will wither and die and some of the best will possibly be with yourself. If you’re really, really lucky you will have a great sexual relationship with your life long partner but rest assured, it will go through ups and downs (so to speak) and if you never find it you will actually be in the majority.

relationship expert catherine harvey looks at some of the myths behind sexual relationships and what to expect from yours.

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Listed: May 7, 2008 12:10 pm