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Should You Give Him A Second Chance?

There comes a time in every relationship where a breakup has occurred and a need by one or both partners to try it again arises.

Being the ultimate romantic that I am, I would always say yes…try it again…give him a second chance, but is that always the right answer? Today we’ll explore several reasons why you should reign in that urge to jump right back into a relationship with the man that you just stepped out of relationship with. Regardless who did the breaking up, there’s always a reason why the relationship itself went sour so it‘s just as important to go slow when it comes to thinking of jumping back in.

Right from the beginning, it’s vital for you to be honest with yourself as to what caused the relationship to disintegrate. If the problem was something easily fixable then it‘s probably wise to go forth and give him the benefit of the doubt and go with your heart, but if the original breakup involved something more difficult, then make sure that you keep both eyes open and take your time to evaluate your need to remain in a relationship that wasn’t working in the past.

Most of us shortly after a breakup, unless it was too bad of a situation to want to get back together, begin to miss the one we were just with and think of the relationship as better than it actually was. When this happens, and it will, realize that missing your former partner is just part of the grieving process. You have to allow yourself to go through it. Otherwise you will not heal properly and when you do meet someone else, going into that next relationship you will bring the baggage of this pain with you. So, take a step back no matter how painful it might be, and look at the situation you just came out of for what it was not for what your heart is trying to tell you it was.

Was there enough reason to stay? If so, then why didn’t you? If you can’t see a viable reason to invest your heart and soul into making it work then please do yourself a favor and allow the pain to work itself through and move on. If you see that the man you were with is truly sorry for his part of the problem and is willing to work hard to correct it, then go ahead with caution and try again.

In a situation where there has been an infidelity then it is wise to take even further precautions in your reconciliation. As the saying goes, if he’s cheated once, then it’s much easier to do it again and you do not want to be a doormat to your boyfriend. This article is not talking to you if you are involved in a marriage relationship but a long term dating relationship only.

If you’re married, I would always suggest trying to make it work no matter what, but if you are not married, especially with no children between the two of you, then it’s up to you whether or not YOU are willing to accept the situation and go forward with your ex in working through your differences from there.

What do you think will make you feel as if anything will be any different this time? Consider these words as you move into a place where reunion can be made possible. Again, if you don’t see your mate as anything else but someone you used to date then do what makes most sense and use the time you spent with this person as a learning experience. Make the most of your life as everyday is a gift and we never know how many more “presents” we’ll be given.

internationally known contemporary women’s fiction author and public speaker, karen farrell jaworski, inspires women to a better life through her three powerful real-to-life dramas as well as her personal appearances nationwide. you can locate her at http://www.kfjbooks.com

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Listed: May 7, 2008 12:08 pm