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Reasons Why People Fear Commitment


They say those who fear commitment understand it’s meaning better than those who actually engaged in one. The world is ever so changing and so are the societal values. In the old days, people were questioned when they seem to have not chosen anyone to be betrothed with. Nowadays, people will be surprised when a young couple, who were obviously dating for some time, would decide to tie the knot. In the old days, people are forced to commitment. At present, people are questioned when they plan of engaging in a commitment. Perhaps the dictates of society though time have somehow changed the way we look at commitment. While this may be possible, there are also a number of reasons why people are afraid to commit. Read on so you would get to know these reasons.

Loss of Freedom

This applies for both sexes, but it most importantly applies to men in general. Men fear commitment because it will mean allocating a rather ‘required’ amount of attention, money, effort and time for a significant other. This will mean less night outs, less bonding with his buddies, less splurging on one’s self, and less everything. They may not yet be agreeable to the idea of sharing all these aspects to another person for the rest of their lives.

Unprepared

A male or female might not be ready for commitment for a number of reasons. They may not be mentally, emotionally or professionally ready for it. In terms of the mental aspect, some may not yet be ready to think of and accept the responsibilities that commitment may bring. Emotionally, people may not be emotionally stable yet for all the frustrations that marriage may cause. Career-wise, some individuals may still be in the process of achieving their dreams. For some people, personal success should be obtained first before deciding to make his or her own family.

Loss of Trust

Some people may have encountered immense pain in the company of someone they used to love so much, and whom they thought felt the same as well. Meanwhile some individuals have just encountered a number of painful experiences that they think they can’t bear to have one all over again. These people have lost faith in humanity and in the existence of true love.

Fear of the Unknown

For some people the improbability of commitment may seem quite scary for them. They dwell on the possible problems that may arise, possibility of change within them or in their partner, and the struggles that may come between them or from outside factors. Commitment to them seems like a trap with a very small hole, and when the trap seems too unbearable, one has to open that whole wide enough to escape. However, opening the whole will cause him great pain and effort as well.

Fear of Being Hurt

As mentioned some people may not wish to engage in a commitment because of the intense pain they have encountered which robbed them of any trust. While this case may be common, there are also other people, who are plainly afraid of experiencing real pain, and this means pain due caused by a failure in marriage. These people may have been those who have personally witnessed it from their parents. They have seen that separation may be inevitable and everyone will have to suffer including the children.

These reasons may all be true and occurring individually for different persons. However the bottom line is that people who feel this way are not yet complete by themselves. They need to work on a personal sense of fulfillment and security so that they will not have to expect for the good things that marriage should give them, but instead, think of the good things that they can give in a marriage.

Harry Z. Hogan enjoys writing for Irishcelticjewels.com which sells celtic wedding rings and claddagh ring as well as a host of additional products.

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Listed: November 11, 2011 4:38 am