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Online Dating Tips: You’ve Found Your Perfect Chinese …

You’ve taken the giant step of joining an Online Dating Website to pursue your dream of finding your Chinese or Asian soulmate. You’ve spent a lot of time and effort meeting, messaging and chatting with all number of potential mates, good and bad, and now you’ve found her. You’re sure she’s the one, and she feels the same way about you. Now what do you do?

1. It’s time to get together, but where?

Unless your gal has already travelled to a major first world country, and especially if you are from such a country, you can almost bet that you are going to have to come to China for that first meeting. If you’re from the USA, Canada, Australia, the UK and even the EU, you are going to have a very difficult time arranging a visitors visa in order for her to come to see you. But for several reasons, even if you could have her come to see you, I highly recommend that you go to China for that all important first meeting.

Whether you go to China or she comes to you, you are likely going to have to pay the lion’s share of the costs, because she likely doesn’t have the resources you have, even if you’re just an average Joe. Very few Chinese women have “travel the world” kind of money.

So, if you have to pay anyway, then come and see China, soak in the culture, meet her whole family, see if this is a place you really wish to be your home away from home, because that is what it is going to be if things work out between you. And if she isn’t the one, you’ll now at least know if you really do wish to pursue a Chinese woman for your lifemate.

On the other hand, if she’s everything you hoped for, you love her family and you enjoy China, then you’re on your way to comfortably becoming a 2 country man.

2. Now you’ve decided you’re headed for China, how do you get there?

Getting to China from anywhere in the 1st world is not difficult, and usually surprisingly inexpensive if you plan ahead and look for bargains. Any good travel agent can organize your trip for you, or you can easily do it yourself online if you enjoy that kind of exercise. China is a popular travel destination these days, and it isn’t difficult.

One Note of Warning: get your visa through your local Chinese consulate if at all possible and plan it well in advance. You can simply google “Chinese Embassies” and easily follow the path to the right consulate for you, where the rules of obtaining a visa should be all laid out. But right now travel to China is a little more difficult because of the Olympics. You can get visa, and you can get here, but not as easily as usual, and probably not as cheaply. Plus, once you arrive this summer everything is likely going to be overcrowded, disorderly and twice the normal cost, so if you can wait we highly recommend that you plan to travel in October or later.

3. You’ve come, you’ve seen, and you’ve conquered.

She’s perfect, China’s great and the family and you hit it off beautifully. So now, hand in hand, you’re gong to return home and see how she likes it there – NOT! You will eventually get her a visa to visit your home country, but you will not get it quickly and not easily. And do not make the mistake of thinking that if you marry her it will be easier, because it won’t be.

Getting that visa calls for a long article in itself, and we will provide one in the near future, but for now suffice it to say that getting her home, especially if you are from the USA, Canada or Australia, is an exercise in frustration. The only good thing I will say here is that once you get her home, and you experience the joy of seeing your own country through her eyes, it will all be well worth the effort.

4. Okay, I can’t get her home quickly, now what?

If you’re made of money, or comfortably retired, you can move to China and wait it out. You can pick up a condo here for less than back home, you can live here for less than back home, and you can explore here for less than back home. You and your new love can see lots of China, get to really know each other, and work on that visa that will take about 6 to 18 months before she can accompany you back home.

At present most countries have what is called a “Fiance Visa” and that usually is the most sensible one and easiest one to obtain. The point of the fiance visa is that you intend to go back home and test the waters, and if all goes well you will marry and she will convert to full landed immigrant status.

If, like most people, you are a normally employed guy, you will have to head home and work on it from there. Settle in for a “long distance relationship” that involves a lot of phone calls (book SKYPE for both of you, it’s a real blessing), a lot of email, and a lot of missing each other.

Many people can’t cut a long distance relationship, but personally I highly recommend them. There is something to getting together after all that yearning that adds to the sweetness of it. On the other hand, maybe that is something akin to hitting yourself over the head with a hammer because it feels so good to quit. It takes a certain kind.

john abbot, is co-owner of chinalovematch.net, a quality online international dating site. married to a lovely chinese lady, and living in china, john knows and respects chinese women, chinese people and chinese culture. for more good stuff by john and other authors about online dating, chinese women, international relationships and things chinese go to http://www.chinalovematch.net and click on clm emagazine.

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Listed: July 28, 2008 1:53 am