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Online Dating Tips: Avoid The Pain, Enhance The Gain

Internet dating gives you a chance to meet hundreds or even thousands of people who want to be your life partner, and weed out all but those who you are seriously interested in before you have to actually meet them and really invest yourself in them. If you are searching for your true love in person, be it in bars or coffee shops or even in your work place or school, before you know a thing about them you have already been persuaded by the great smile or the unique gesture or the swaying of the hips. On the internet, you can take some time to explore who they are before succumbing to their wiles.

In person you’re hooked before you’re ready, and you’ll forgive faults too easily in order to maintain the image of perfection you’ve created. On the internet, if you take your time, you may spot that major flaw and simply exit the situation, but in person, you will overlook the same flaw because the situation is already too complex to escape.

Choose Your Website Carefully

“Free” is a very relative term. It may be free if it costs you nothing to join, nothing to kiss, nothing to meet, nothing to chat, nothing to play games, nothing to scam, nothing to hunt, nothing to kill. The point is that the same site that is free for you is also free for the game players, the scammers and the predators of the world.

No website is “free”. It can’t exist without either income or donations. Income is derived from either membership fees, advertising or product sales. Donations are charitable and hardly apply to a dating website. “Free” dating websites make their money from advertising. If they don”t care about your fees, then they don”t care about you. You are a number, not a person, or more specifically not a “member”.

If you only interested in floating along for the ride, in playing the game, in enjoying the hunt, then you truly belong on and will enjoy a “free” dating website. And that is where you should be.

On the other hand, if you are truly interested in finding and enjoying a genuine international relationship with a beautiful woman who feels the same way, then choose a website that may not be “free” but that will genuinely respect and care for your interests. You are investing in the single most important component of your life – your spouse, your partner, your soulmate, your true love – is it truly appropriate that such an investment be “free”?

Quality sites police for and eliminate Scammers, but for “Free” sites they are of value because they are the busiest ones on the site, and they make the site appear to have more, and better looking, members.

Your lifemate is the single most important investment you will ever make; not your house, not your business, not even your education. Invest wisely.

The General Procedure to Follow:

1. If a person asks for money before you’ve even had a nice, serious and personal series of messages and chats, and hopefully a phone call or two, then you have to question their true intentions.

Most Scammers biggest weakness is their lack of patience. If she wants $20 on her third message to you, then she is going to want a whole lot more later on. A genuine Chinese, Asian or Russian girl, like all sincere women, will be very reluctant to ask the man she is hoping to develop a long term relationship with to send her money.

2. Keep your contacts onsite until you are very comfortable that her interest is genuine. Why give her your personal information before you are comfortable? If she is genuine she should understand this and be less than anxious to give you her personal info as well.

You’ve both gone to all the trouble of joining, and probably one of you has paid for an upgrade, so what is the rush to go private. If she’s not genuine she may give up on you, or the website may see signs from complaints from other members and warn you, etc.

3. Take your time meeting a few good women on the web: start with many, narrow it to 3 or 4, then slowly narrow it to 1 or 2. You really can’t be sure you love someone until you meet them in person, as much as it seems they are perfect for you from the captivating communications you share, keep it a little bit light until you meet. Meanwhile, enjoy the chat and the flirting with several ladies and let her do the same.

4. After you’ve narrowed it down to the few or the one, arrange that personal meeting. You’re planning a life long international relationship with a beautiful woman, so now is the time to invest. Say she is CHinese, then take a trip to China. That way, even if it doesn’t work out with her, you will get to see China and discover if you like it or not, if the culture and people appeal to you or not, if a Chinese woman is for you or not.

5. While you are going to meet her in her country, do not meet her on her turf. Meet her someplace public and safe. Of course long odds are that you are not going to be abducted, but why be that 1 in a million victim who is?

So you choose and book your own hotel, and then meet her in the lobby, or a restaurant or coffee shop. Then spend an entirely unplanned day together, or at least as much time as it takes to feel completely comfortable that she is genuine. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t let her know that you are taking such precautions, as that is not likely a “relationship builder”.

6. Once you are satisfied that this lovely Chinese Lady is sincere and true, which is already about 99% likely as opposed to the 50/50 chance you stand meeting her in any bar in the world, then spend the rest of your trip enjoying intimate moments (or days), meeting family and friends and absorbing Chinese Culture.

If you are satisfied that this is the person, these are the people, and this is the culture that you are ready to commit to then our job is done, you are safely on your way to making your dreams a reality.

john abbot, is co-owner of a www.chinalovematch.net, a quality online dating site. married to a lovely chinese lady, and living in china, john knows and respects chinese women, chinese people and chinese culture. for more good stuff by john on online dating, chinese women, international relationships and things chinese go to http://www.chinalovematch.net and click on clm emagazine.

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Listed: May 13, 2008 11:16 am