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Mission Not-So-Impossible: Getting Back Together After a …


A relationship, especially one between two partners who are in love, is supposed to be about give and take. Sadly, there are relationships that end because one just gives, gives, gives while the other takes, takes, takes. However, there are relationships that seem to have the give and take aspect down pat but the couple still ends up calling it quits. Being with someone and sharing your life with them is a two-way street. If your partner decides that he or she does not want to continue the journey with you then the inevitable break up happens. You ask yourself if you gave too much or if you took too much. You wonder why the relationship stopped working when it seemed to be working so well for so long. You tell yourself that if it worked once before, you and your ex can make it work once again. Take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Is getting back together after a break up even possible?!” The simple answer is “YES!”

Now, getting back together after a break up is not as easy as it sounds. Just like when the relationship was still on the up and up, there needs to be give and take. Both you and your ex need to strike a balance between what you guys bring to the table and what you take away from it. What was lacking in it for you? What was your ex not getting from the relationship that he or she felt it was time to move away? Acknowledging what you both want from the relationship will make it more possible for either of you to give and, in turn, receive equally.

If you were giving too much of yourself to him or her in the past, take a few steps back. Give the other party some breathing space and time to grow as an individual and not just as part of a couple. You are both your own persons and your existence is not and should not be reliant on your ex. Take this as an opportunity for you to do some growing as well. Realize that becoming better as individuals can only help both of you become better as a couple.

Take into consideration that the prospect of not getting back together after a break up is just as possible as the alternative. While this is something you may not want to hear at the moment, being aware that there is that possibility will make you think twice (or more) on whether this is something you really want to do. Are you ready to make whatever sacrifices are necessary in order to restart a relationship that has already ended? Are you willing to put in the time and effort to make sure that the mistakes of the past do not rear their ugly little heads this time around? If your answer is “yes” to both those questions and you have no doubt that getting back together is something you both really want, then tread cautiously but with conviction on your road to reconciliation.

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Listed: May 11, 2012 8:03 pm