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Live Together Successfully

Every relationship has its milestones – the first date, the first kiss, meeting the parents, and, of course, moving in together. The latter can be potentially overwhelming for those who have never lived with a partner before and have gotten so used to living independently, the way most singles are. The transition is particularly more difficult for men rather than women. If you’re a woman about to go on the adventure of moving in with a man for the first time, you’re in for a wild ride.

What To Expect

Just because a man suggested or agreed that you move in together doesn’t mean that he’s particularly happy or even sure about it. Man like being men, and though he might love you enough to want to share a life with you, there are still some things that he can’t let go. Indeed, expect your man to have second thoughts and be quite difficult at some point. This is but natural.

What To Do

In order to make the transition of living together as smooth as possible for both you and your man, talk it over before you take the plunge. He might not be very keen to do so, but it’s important that you have ‘The Talk’ so insist on it. Don’t nag, however, or you’ll find your man running the other way.

When you do have ‘The Talk’ listen to your man’s expectations and make him listen to yours. Naturally, you will come across a few things that won’t be acceptable to the other. In this case, you need to compromise. For example, your man might like to go out with his buddies on Wednesday nights for ‘guy stuff’. Make it crystal clear that you won’t tolerate cheating of any sort – or any wild behavior, for that matter. You might not be able to get him to follow a curfew, but you could agree on him calling you if he’ll be late. Similarly, if your man doesn’t like you spending hours on the computer every night, you can compromise to considerably cut down your Internet usage.

You have to make sure, however, that in the effort to compromise, you don’t end up compromising yourself, your feelings, and your beliefs. This can be achieved with constant communication, transparency, and honesty – the very things that make a relationship work successfully.

What To Give

When moving in together, both parties need to be able to contribute something to make the relationship even more enjoyable and to make your life together as comfortable as possible. A contribution could be anything, really, as long as it’s beneficial to both of you.

You can contribute household essentials such as furniture and decorations. Just make sure that it fits both of your tastes. You can divide chores equally among yourselves so no one feels taken advantage of. You can contribute to pay bills and other responsibilities.

Most of all, when moving in together, the best contributions you could give to each other are love, companionship, and loyalty. All these would make your life together as blissful as can be imagined.

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Listed: May 7, 2008 12:08 pm