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Learn How to do Marriage the Right Way From the …


During the time my wife and I grew apart, I got the crazy idea to go talk to my parents and grill them about how they stay married through both the good and the bad times. Besides my parents and I spoke on a regular basis and the conversations were free!

Glad I did, because I re-discovered just how lucky I really was…

My wife and I were extremely blessed growing up. Our parents as well as our grandparents were still together. We naturally looked up to our grandparents and were lucky to have them as role models. My mom’s folks even got married during the Depression and stayed married through thick and thin until my grandfather died in 1976 at the age of 62.

I asked my parents if we could talk and they agreed. So we sat down and they asked what was up. I let them know that since our son’s near catastrophic birth, my wife and I had grown apart. The stress from losing both my wife and first born son had gotten to us both. We didn’t talk to each other as much as we nagged at each other. While we found time to complain about mundane tasks, we didn’t make the time show our love and appreciation for each other. Neither of us could take it for much longer.

My mom asked if I remembered when my father had his appendix out when I was 3. I said that I only remembered that he was in the hospital for awhile and that he ended up OK. As it turns out, he was far from OK. I was in shock as she filled me in on everything I had forgotten:
– His appendix ruptured as it was being taken out nearly killing my dad
– He was laid up for 4 weeks unable to work and unable to make money-unable to pay the bills.
– Naturally, this situation caused an incredible stress on their relationship!

Yet their marriage survived.

And I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that my parents are still happily married:
– They worked at it
– They talked to each other on all the issues regarding our family
– They found the time to take each other out on dates
– They too had role model parents whose marriages survived wars, recessions and even the Great Depression

Let’s face it, life isn’t perfect. To quote Mick Jagger, You can’t always get what you want, but you might just get what you need.

Today life comes at you at a very high speed. Simple bumps in the road can become pot holes in no time at all. The stronger our marriages are, the stronger we’ll be in the face of adversity. If my grandparent’s love survived a depression, why can’t the rest of us make our marriages the very best that they can be when times are so good?

It’s been awesome and humbling to look at how my parents handled all their challenges. As it turns out, they had all the same problems as anyone else and they were able to get through them with a little love and understanding.

All grown up with a family of my own, I have a much better appreciation the incredible job both my parents and grandparents did raising me. Without a doubt, I’m a much better husband, father and man because of it

alan bentley, god’s gift to female/male communication, helps single women across the country unravel mysteries of the male mind helping improve their relationships with men they love. to discover how you can crack the guy code, go to http://www.cracktheguycode.com or email [email protected]

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Listed: October 23, 2008 8:08 am