Welcome, visitor! [ Register | Loginrss

Is Dating in Church the New “Meet” Market?


Love seekers grow weary of trying everything from letting friends and family set them up on a date to waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to show up on the doorstep. Nightclubs, the Internet, social gatherings, and even the grocery store are sometimes exhausted in an effort to find fertile ground for dating. When people look to God and the church, one might think the almighty place of worship would prove to be a sure bet. Finding pure love is heavenly when it’s truly of divine order, but is it a good idea to be dating in church? Should church strictly be a place for seeking the word of God, not chasing the tail of the opposite sex?

Anthony, an avid churchgoer, says he believes dating in church is a bad idea. “There has been at least a hand full of women at my church inviting me over for dinner or asking me out,” he asserted. “They were all highly disappointed and got mad at me when I told them I don’t date women in my church. I was called ‘gay’ and every other name in the book. I saw what happens to people when they do it, and it can get real ugly, so I don’t do it.”

Just how ugly can it get? There have been countless cases of clergy sexually engaging with members of the church producing scandal faster than can be read in the headline news. The imbalance of power between officials and the congregation can become abusive, leaving the spiritual and physical body of the church in shambles. Similarly, individuals who are dating in church may find their relationship playing out before the church. Rumors start before a relationship has had a chance to develop. Couples dating in church may also find themselves tempted to be sexually involved. If the relationship goes sour before the church’s eyes, it can lead to ridicule, compromise of one’s spiritual growth, and having to find another church to attend to avoid scrutiny.

No one knows that better than Michelle, a praise dancer who became involved with another member of her church. “I loved my church, but I had to change to another one when I found out my fiancé was dating another woman at the same church. She was a praise dancer, too. Dating in church was an embarrassment that I couldn’t bear,” she added. “We… me and the other woman, were treated like crap and taken off the praise dance team, but my ex…well, he was just given a good talking to and they let him continue his activities in the church.”

While some have found their place of worship detrimental to dating, others have used it to establish a long lasting connection.

Pamela and Darius met at their church 13 years ago and have been together ever since then. “We both went to church to gain spiritual guidance and fortitude. That was our number one goal. We just happened to find each other there,” Darius stated. They had been members for years before they started dating and agreed to only see each other outside of church. “We met for dinner and a movie or a walk in the park about 20 miles or so outside our neighborhood to avoid seeing people from church,” Pamela said. “By the time anybody knew anything, we were engaged. Dating in church isn’t bad, it depends on how you go about doing it,” she added.

So maybe dating in church can be like having icing on a cake. The cake is food, sustenance our bodies need, somewhat like the way God’s Word is food. The icing on the cake is like finding the perfect mate in the process of knowing God’s love. We need the cake. The icing is extra grace.

Mel Bancroft is a writer for ; Regal Black Mens Magazine The publication focuses on ; African American Community News Politics Sports Health The magazine features a ; Local Online Classifieds Job Classified Black Business Directory Visit to read about ; dating in church

Related posts:

  1. How Does a Christian Date? Christian dating is no different from regular dating. When you meet that special someone you will have a spiritual connection as well as love for one another. God’s plan is for you to love and respect one another as you would want to be. Once you have that then god will guide you thru the […]…
  2. Meet japanese women for dating Japancupid is a japanese dating and matchmaking site for all single boys and girls, women and men who are looking for a japanese partner for love, dating, penpal, marriage, romance and friendship. With over 200,000 active members Japancupid is one of the largest japanese dating sites and their network of seeking singles makes it more […]…
  3. Tips For Making Your Own Wedding Cake Every bride knows that preparing and planning a wedding is truly expensive. From the invitations to the reception, every detail has a corresponding price attached to it. If you are a bride and you have done some baking before, you may want to consider baking and icing your very own wedding cake. Aside from the […]…
  4. Meet local adult singles for online dating, local singles … www.meetwithamate.com specializes in providing a secure online environment for singles who are searching for other fun, friendly and professional singles with similar interests. Members can create a photo profiles and securely message each other. We help you find your perfect mate by location, age and lifestyle! Meet with your mate, search for fun and friendly […]…
  5. The Myths and Misunderstandings When Dating Black Women Stereotypes seem to be abundant when it comes to the dating world. So many people listen to myths, stereotypes and other false things and that ends up hurting them when it comes to finding love. If you are ready to take the plunge and start dating black women then it is time for you to […]…
  6. Christian Dating – Find That Special Someone Today! For a long time, you have been dreaming of that person you want to spend the rest of your life with; the one you will grow old with, who will love you for who you are and what you believe in. Maybe you’re looking for someone with whom you transcend the usual physical and emotional […]…
  7. Online Dating Helps You Meet New People Across The Globe We have all had our fair share of losing love interests and end up feeling down as if we have lost all the confidence that it takes to find another love. It may really be tough at first, but the best part of the journey is yet to begin with something that is definitely beyond […]…
  8. Meet filipino women for marriage Filipina heart is a specialty Filipina dating and personals web site with a current database of 750,000 members. Filipino single men, women, girls and boys are seeking every day for a new partner for dating, love, romance, pen pal, friendship or marriage. With that large amount of members you will find easily your Filipino match […]…
  9. Meet Single Men Nyc at New York Dating Sites New York dating sites allows you to column profile for free and appearance photos of all NYC singles. free New York dating sites acquiesce you to acquaintance with all single women and men for free. You do not pay a dime for application the actually free NY dating websites. In New York, there are added […]…
  10. Discover How To Meet And Attract Older Women Lets face it, some things just get better with age. Things like fine wine, Cuban cigars, and yes, even women! Meeting a woman whos older than you can actually be quite a good way to meet a fantastic partner. Usually, older women are much more experienced, not only in relationships, but also in the bedroom. […]…

122 total views, 3 so far today

  


Listed: January 5, 2012 4:03 am