For as long men and women have been dating, theres always been a point when the dates no longer feel fun and meeting new people becomes a chore instead of a chance.

As soon as you reach that stage when you just know you dont want to be alone any more, membership is automatic. Its not that you dont like your own company or that your life seems meaningless by yourself. But you know youll be happier sharing your time and your future with someone else and the sooner it starts the happier youll be.

It used to be the case that when singles reached this stage when they were ready to turn their backs on their bachelorhood theyd ring up their pals, talk to their friends and go through a string of introductions until they found someone they were prepared to settle down with.

Today, its a lot easier. Youre not limited to your social circles social circles and theres no pressure from pals who are convinced you should like their pal and believe theres something wrong with you if you dont. You can just go online, sign up to a dating site and gain access to millions of singles from around the world and from all walks of life.

It couldnt be easier and youre in control. For less than the price of a decent bottle of wine, you can contact thousands of singles who live near you, want to hear from you and are looking for exactly the same thing as you.

You can write them emails, chat with them online, swap photos and make arrangements to meet. Believe the blurb on the websites and you can find the love of your life in minutes one click and youre there.

Clearly, its not that easy.

At their most basic, dating sites are just giant databases stuffed with details on eligible singles only some of whom are at the same stage as you.

People come to dating sites for all sorts of reasons and to find all sorts of relationships. Most are looking for a long-term connection that may lead to marriage. Many are looking for a new relationship that may become long-term. Some are looking for a quick fling that wont last longer than a weekend.

And even when you do find someone who looks interesting and wants the same thing that you do, theres no guarantee that theyll want what you have to offer. Rejection lives online too.

The fact is, while online dating certainly makes meeting the love of your life a great deal easier, it still requires effort, planning and an investment of both time and money. Exactly the same rules apply on the Web as in bars, clubs and parties.

You have to look good, be charming and stay honest if you want to build a new life with someone youre only just getting to know. You have to know how to make a great first impression, pick the right person and see it through. And you have to know how to make the most of the tools and chances you have available. All of those thing remain true throughout the online dating process just as theyre true offline too.

jon k. hewitt is 27 years old and lives in portland, oregon, webprogrammer and web designer, owner of dating site website.

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