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How to Stay Married to a Crazy Woman For 10 Years!


My wife and I have been married for a long time, but in an attempt to remain sane, I developed a list of what works in our marriage. I won’t mention the things that didn’t work because they are too numerous to count.

But first, one definition of crazy: “An offensive term meaning affected by a psychiatric disorder.” At one time or another that description could apply to all of us.

In order to have a good relationship, you have to recognize that one of you is crazy. I suspected such an abnormality existed from the first weekend, when my fishing trip lasted longer than anticipated. Arriving home just a little after dark, I was expecting a hot dinner and a cuddly wife.

Instead I opened the door to a crying, upset crazy woman. All thoughts of sanity had gone out the window along with my good suit and my extra pair of blue jeans. Craziness had been a big part of our marriage until I learned a few tricks that put the whole state of affairs into a new light.

Wake up to the fact that few women know the joy of sitting in the baking sun all day, with a fishing pole stuck between your legs. It takes infinite patience to complete the ultimate fishing experience. If patience works for a fish, it very well might work on your spouse.

Another definition of crazy is: “Ridiculous: not showing good sense or practicality.”

I have learned to keep my mouth shut. It took a lot of maturity and tolerance on my part, but I eventually learned that instead of stalking out the door with a witty remark hanging in the air, is not the solution to winning a spirited debate.

Witty remarks usually sound a lot like sarcasm and once said cannot completely be taken back. Keep them to yourself! In the absence of a sharply barbed comment, I recommend a smile. It is difficult to maintain a good argument when the other person is smiling at you. You will appear annoyingly mature.

Understand that your spouse is always right! No matter what the argument, you are not going to win it with logical, well-chosen words so don’t even try. The best strategy is to appear sincere with an understanding look on your face, whether you agree with her, or him, or not. If you don’t want the skirmish to escalate into an all-out war, don’t say anything!

Disagreements in any relationship are a normal part of living. She is always right and it only took me ten years to learn that valuable truth. When I began to learn how to smile and nod my head at the appropriate time, our marriage started to look less like a battle field and more like a stroll in the park.

You are never going to win! Don’t even try because victory is really not the objective anyway. For ever winner there has to be a loser. No one, not you nor your spouse, likes to feel defeated.

When quarreling becomes more of a hassle than it’s worth, it’s time to grow up and decide whether you like the other person enough to mellow a little. I don’t sing the “Crazy Woman Blues” any longer and life has become gloriously peaceful and exciting since we both have a new outlook on our lives together.

That great philosopher Waylon Jennings said it best, “I’ve Always Been Crazy But It’s Kept Me From Going Insane.”

Bob Alexander is a son of the south. He has gained expert status in eating barbeque, telling fishing stories and leisure living. Visit his site at: http://www.homeandgardenbob.com

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Listed: July 21, 2012 8:38 pm