Welcome, visitor! [ Register | Loginrss

How to Start Recovering from a Broken Heart

If your heart is breaking because of lost love, if you’ve been betrayed, abandoned, “dumped”, or you know you must leave a relationship because of abuse, you certainly are not alone. Relationships coming to an end is common. Even if we look only at divorce rates, “50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce”. Countless other romantic relationships end every moment of every day and in most cases, someone feels despair and heart break.

So, what to do? The answer is: (1) take care of your physical and emotional self, (2) take additional care of your emotional self by repeating over and over again, “I will get through this and feel better”, and (3) start working on acceptance of the loss. This article will present the details of these three steps so you can start your recovery from heart break today.

Move your body.

In case it is not obvious why this is a recommendation, let me note that no less than the US Surgeon General reported an association between physical exercise and a sense of psychological well-being. Regular exercise increases physical and emotional tolerance of stressful events. Moving your body will help fight off feelings associated with anxiety and depression.

Eat well.

After a relationship ends you might feel like overeating, like not eating at all, or like binging on “high sugar” foods (for example, ice cream and chocolate). The goal of the advice “eat well” is to eat healthy foods in moderate quantities despite not wanting to eat or wanting to do nothing but eat. Healthy eating is consistent with the advice of Micheal Pollan (author of In Defense of Food and The Omnivore’s Dilemma): “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

Avoid self-medicating with alcohol or drugs.

This is stating the obvious. I hope you are not learning here that alcohol and drugs do not solve any problems and often compound any problems you do have. As tempting as numbing your self to pain through alcohol and drugs may be, avoid giving into temptation. Doing otherwise will, 99 times out of 100, just slow down your recovery.

Rest through sleeping enough.

Getting adequate sleep is critical to maintain your resilience in the face of stress. In the book, Making a Good Brain Great, the author Daniel G. Amen notes that “getting less than six and a half hours of sleep at night decreases our ability to fight stress”.

Seek the support of a network of friends.

In the book, Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers: A Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping, author Robert M. Sapolsky carefully distinguishes between relationships with supportive friends and relationships with everyone else. Regular contact with supportive friends and family members can reduce the harm caused by stress. Contact with friends or others who are not supportive does not reduce the harm caused by stress and may make things worse.

Repeat over and over again to your self: “I will get through this and feel better”.

If you have never been through a breakup before, tell your self this based on faith and your observation that others, perhaps even close friends of yours, survive breakups and soon start feeling much better. If you have been through a breakup before, remember the experience from the first moments of loss through your transition to feeling better and presumably to being “in love” again. You should find comfort in knowing that you will get through your heart break and despair to feeling better. In many ways, getting through a breakup is a kind of surviving – you can do it, you will get through it to better times.

Start working on acceptance of your loss.

This is the third priority in the self care portion of your recovery for a reason: it is less important than taking care of your physical and emotional self. At the same time, acceptance is the path to full recovery. From the first days “float” the thought, “I can accept this outcome and move on”.

Self care or self help is a way to start and accelerate your recovery from the heart break of a broken relationship. Taking care of your physical and emotional self along with starting to accept your loss are the first steps on the path to feeling better.

Be active in helping your self. Be well.

dr. lebo is a licensed psychologist who has been practicing for twenty years. he can be reached by email at [email protected]. you can also visit the selfhelpinsight.com website for additional information on recovering from a lost love and heart break.

Related posts:

  1. Is it Possible to Fix Your Broken Relationship – Get … When it comes to fixing a broken relationship, or getting and ex-lover back, one must ask themselves, “how much work am I prepared to do to put the pieces back together again?” If you find yourself pondering that question for any length of time, there may be nothing you can do. Why? Because a relationship, […]…
  2. Three Tips to Capture His Heart Have you ever been curious why other women seem to possess certain mysterious skills in attracting men to them? Admit it, it’s not just because they’re beautiful, attractive, smart or even polite, because it’s almost always not enough. Without a doubt; these women possess an undisclosed trait that makes them perfectly irresistible to the man […]…
  3. Dating For The Young At Heart It’s funny the way your outlook changes through the years when it comes to love and relationships. For teenagers, they all think they have invented love and lust and that nobody over the age of twenty five understands how this truly feels. The majority of the relationships that begin at this age are hormone fuelled […]…
  4. Our Heart’s Achilles Heel: Eagerness One of the most natural desires of life is to find and settle down with that special someone. But as we search for that special someone it is critical to remain patient through the dating process. Otherwise, if we become eager rather than patient, our judgment can become clouded as we focus more on achieving […]…
  5. Love Sprang To Life And She Captured My Heart With credit card in hand, I pushed the button officially becoming a member of a dating site. Immediately I was given my first date choices and the ability to email each one or just give them a wink that I was interested. Confidently I emailed one person that might be compatible, only to receive an […]…
  6. After the Affair – Marriage Rebuilding You had an affair. Your partner knows. So what happens now? You’ve ended the affair and you’ve promised it’ll never happen again. You want to stay married, move forward in your relationship, and put the affair behind you, but your partner will not be so quick to forgive and forget as you are. This is […]…
  7. Getting Your Ex Back With A Sensible Approach Sometimes relationships seem to end without warning and other times they seem to slowly disintegrate. Regardless of how the break up happens it is likely that at least one of the partners involved will have regrets. The regrets may be over the break up itself or things that led up to the event. For many, […]…
  8. How to Get Over a Serious Breakup One of the hardest things to do in life is to break off a long term relationship, engagement, or marriage. Yet sometimes what’s even harder is getting back out there and trying to start over again. There are tons of experts and authors who all claim to have proven systems for getting over serious relationships. […]…
  9. First Steps To Getting Your Ex Back The break up of a relationship can be very traumatic. In fact, it puts such emotional stress on some individuals that the impact can equal that of adjusting to a death of a loved one. The reason for that is obvious, the person is out of your life, at least in the way that you […]…
  10. Getting Your Boyfriend Back – A Break Up Doesn’t … Break-ups can definitely be devastating. If you’ve just been through one, you may be left feeling disillusioned and confused. The initial shock is difficult to get through, but this is also a very critical time if you are holding out any hope of getting back together with your boyfriend. Depending on the circumstances surrounding the […]…

229 total views, 1 so far today


Listed: November 4, 2008 4:08 pm