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How to Recover When Your Husband Has an Emotional Affair …


Like everyone else, you expect a certain sense of normalcy from your life. Sure, surprises are nice now and then, but in order to make it through this crazy world each day, it is good to mostly know what we can expect.

For those who are married, both husband and wife want to be able to depend upon the other person. You want to know that you will be there to comfort each other, to offer a helping hand . . . to be trusted and trustworthy. While marriages are seldom perfect, at the very least we expect these things from those we love.

This is why it is particularly painful for a wife to find out that her husband has been cheating. Whether the affair he is having is a physical one or is limited to the emotions (an “emotional affair”), it is painful either way. In fact, sometimes an emotional affair can be even more painful since the wife knows at some level that she is at risk of losing her husband to another woman.

If your husband is having an emotional affair, it is something you need to address as quickly as possible so that you can begin the healing process.

Here are 7 steps for how to recover when your husband has an emotional affair:

1. Get him to recognize the affair:

The first thing you need to do is to get him to admit and recognize that he is having an affair. While he may admit he is fond of the other woman, he may fall short of actually admitting to an affair. This is often because he does not want to even admit this to himself. But, his admission is the first step on the path to your surviving the affair.

2. Make sure he understands the pain and confusion he has caused you:

You no doubt have been through the full spectrum of emotions, from wanting to tear your hair out in anger at one moment to feelings of deep sadness at other moments. While every wife reacts in different ways, it is important that he understands the pain and confusion he has caused you. Do not hide your feelings from your husband.

3. Do NOT require him to share details of his affair with you at this point:

You may be tempted to ask him every detail about his affair. Resist this temptation! Doing so will only cause the two of you pain. As you build up your trust again, when and if he is ready, he will share more with you. Now is not the time.

4. Ask him if he agrees to sever all ties with the other woman:

For you to have a chance of healing, he needs to agree to cut all ties with the other woman. Period.

5. Get him to reassure you that he still loves you:

If your husband still loves you (and he almost certainly does), make sure he knows that you will need extra reassurance from him in the coming days, weeks and months about how much you mean to him.

6. Make more time for working out your issues:

One reason your relationship may have gotten to this point is that the two of you had not been making enough time for your relationship. Now, more than ever, go out of your way to make special time for the two of you to grow together again.

7. Get on the path to healing:

You will likely not be able to successfully navigate the journey back to a healthy relationship alone. Do whatever it takes to get the help you need to overcome this obstacle and find love between you again.

Take these 5 steps to start down the path to recovery when your husband has had an emotional affair.

Find tools and techniques needed to overcome an emotional affair that were designed by an expert who has helped over 10,000 couples do the same at: Find the Love Again.

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Listed: November 24, 2011 12:38 am