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How Do I Preserve My Marriage/Relationship


Sorrow and anguish are, most often, the trademarks of any troubled relationship at the verge of breaking down. It is always terrible and devastating when a relation is breaking down. When you are having this relationship breakdown, it could be energy sapping because all you think about, all day and night, endlessly, is ‘how do I preserve my relationship’, ‘how do I preserve my marriage’.

‘Should this marriage or relationship be salvaged’, is the question anyone in a stormy marriage/relationship should ask. This is because it is not every relationship that is having problems should be salvaged or saved. For instance, someone in a marriage/relationship where he/she is being battered or maltreated really needs to think about what is basically necessary and what he/she desires. Your desires may not ensure your safety but your basic necessities ensure your safety. Basic necessity may be about you quitting the relationship to ensure that you, your children (where the couple have children), and any other family relations who may be living with you are safe. While your desires to stay on in this abusive relationship, might endanger you. In a relationship where a partner is abusive it is advisable that the person on the receiving end moves on in order to guard against danger to his or her life arising from the abuse.

Being alone or starting a new relationship with a different person, from the scratch, may be a bit traumatic but you may need to stay away from a relationship where you have been battered and abused. If you decide to stay on in this relationship that is at the verge of breaking up, with this person, what are you doing to ensure a respectable position for yourself? Are you selling yourself short by giving the other person a reason to feel that he or she does not need you in his/her life? Are you being clingy? Behaving as if you cannot do without this person? Calling and pestering him or her? Bickering and quarrelling with him or her?. These things would rather further push the other person away from you and reduce the respect, if any, they have for you. In trying to salvage this marriage/relationship you need to raise your value by making yourself a bit scarce. Let the other person miss you to the extent of wanting to get in touch without you reminding him or her that you are there. Let him/her wonder why they have not seen you lately, what you are up to, if you miss him/her, and why you are not calling. Let them wonder if you have moved on. Let them appreciate you!

All the folly and anguish people experience when they are trying to preserve a shaky marriage/relationship, can be prevented only if the persons involved can learn to comport themselves in an orderly manner. The factor provided above is only one of the many factors that one needs to know concerning how to preserve his/her marriage/relationship. Relationships and lives can be hassle-free and painless if people learn to value; and appreciate themselves.

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Listed: April 15, 2010 8:02 pm