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Get Back Together: Ask The Right Questions


As I’ve already mentioned in earlier articles, what you think about affects how you feel and act. This truth could have a big impact on whether or not you ever get back together with your loved one. When you think negative thoughts you start to feel sad or depressed and you act differently than when you are thinking upbeat, positive thoughts. And you can bet that you are less appealing to be around when you are down.

Asking yourself negative, depressing questions has the same effect. Because our brains and bodies are intimately connected, the questions you ask yourself strongly affect how you look at things, how you act toward others, and how you react to the world around you. If you constantly ask yourself negative, depressing questions, it will negatively effect everything else in your life. Asking yourself positive questions has the opposite effect, improving every aspect of your life.

So think carefully about what you think about. Question the kinds of questions you ask yourself. If you ask yourself negative, depressing questions about what your ex is doing, who they are with, and how they feel about you right now, your mood will darken and your heart ache. You can’t change what your ex is doing, who they are with, and how they feel about you right now, so the questions are pointless anyway. All they can do is bring you down. Being downbeat, in a sad and negative mood certainly isn’t going to help you get back together with your ex, or do anything for the other parts of your life either! Your ex already left. Why would they want to get back together with you if you’ve become negative and fearful on top of whatever issues caused the split in the first place?

Instead of letting negative questions drag you down that dark road, ask yourself positive, practical questions. Ask yourself what you can be doing to make yourself a better, happier person while you have this time away from your ex.

Instead of wondering how you will ever survive without your ex, ask yourself what you can do to better control your emotions and not be so dependent on others for your happiness and well being. When you don’t have to depend on others to feel good about yourself, your relationships will be more stable and your heart won’t constantly be rocked by other people’s moods and behavior. Being emotionally unstable is certainly not going to help you get back together with your ex.

Don’t keep asking yourself how you could have said or done such a dumb thing in the past. Instead, ask yourself what you can do to improve your relationship skills for the future. You can’t change what happened in the past, but you can work to make sure things go smoother in the future.

Instead of wondering if your ex has found someone better than you, ask yourself what you can do to make yourself better in whatever ways are most important to you. Doing things that make you feel better about yourself make you more confident and comfortable (and don’t forget better!) and that makes you more interesting and attractive to your ex and everyone else.

There are endless things anyone can do to make themselves happier, more fun, a better person all around. Focusing on things like this will lift your mood, and when you follow through, you’ll actually become a happier, more fun, better person all around. This is the kind of person others want to be around and exes want to get back together with. Whatever happens, you will be better off.

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Listed: July 29, 2008 5:53 am