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Emotional Affairs: The Need For Significance


Emotional affairs usually start in friendships. While friendship is one of the most beautiful and pleasant relationship, an emotional affair, though beautiful and exciting, comes packaged with pain and misery too! You will do yourself a lot of good by guarding yourself from getting entangled in emotional affairs.

Generally, emotional affairs do not necessarily include sexual intimacy. You may feel a strong emotional attachment to a certain person, usually of the opposite sex even as you are contented in your married life. It often encompasses sharing emotions, fantasies, inner desires, ambitions and thoughts that you do not share with your spouse. Emotional affairs can be excruciating, since it may end up in unwanted sexual relationship too.

The day you start feeling you must not divulge details of your friendship to your spouse, you know you are in trouble! This is where you are turning away from what should be to what should not be! If you are sexually attracted to your friend and trying to deny those feelings, you are seriously deep into an emotional affair.

The balance shifts from your spouse or partner towards that friend as you start spending more time with him or her. As your emotional affair progresses, you start divulging all your personal details to the friend and lo and behold! You are completely entangled now. Misery starts with feelings of possessiveness and jealousy if the said friend talks to or even mentions anyone of the opposite sex to you.

Imbalanced and wild emotions are no more in your control and starts showing on your behavior. You will start withdrawing from your spouse and longing to spend more time with your friend. Emotional affairs like physical affairs can hurt your spouse and even your marital relationship.

Emotional affairs result due to the need for intimacy. If you are a person who needs emotional support and reassurance all the time and your spouse does not respond appropriately, there are chances you may start being attracted to any of your friends of the opposite sex who shows concern and care. The moment you start having inappropriate feelings, you can, if you want to stop yourself from going astray. A strong determination and a sincere effort in understanding your spouse and his or her nature are qualities which are sure to anchor you back to safety. A marriage is a special relationship and it is only right that you do your best to safeguard it and not just blow it away with an unnecessary emotional affair.

As you start noticing your feelings and emotions dancing out of step you can start regaining balance by being extra affectionate to your spouse. There is nothing that love and affection cannot achieve. Attention and care bestowed on your spouse is sure to make an impact. You will find your relationship blossoming all over again. You can go that extra mile by planning for a vacation, just the two of you to rekindle the romance. Take your spouse away from routine and see him or her noticing you as if for the first time.

The most important thing here is to consider and analyze your emotions as you will tend to blame your spouse for your wayward feelings. Make sure you understand that you are responsible for your actions and no one else! If the friend in question is genuine and decent, he or she can be taken into confidence and you can even tell them about how you do not think you should lose your family by becoming emotionally dependent on them.

A sincere and caring friend would understand your position and keep away from you helping you overcome those feelings. Seeking the help of a good counselor is also an option. Take control of your emotions before you lose balance!

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Listed: November 19, 2008 12:08 pm