Welcome, visitor! [ Register | Loginrss

Dos and Don’ts to Lead a Happy and Exciting Married …


Please read my previous article “Sprucing Up Your Married Life On Shoestring Resources” at http://www.bharatbhasha.com/marriage.php/106806 before reading this article – thanks.

There’s a story about a temple that a couple regularly visited. The path leading up to the entrance was quite bushy and there were thorns on the ground. The first time the husband took his wife just after marriage, he carried her so that she wouldn’t hurt herself. After a few months they went again and he held her hands and helped her walk cautiously. The next time they visited, he reminded her to be careful of the thorns or she will get hurt. And the next time they visited, he did not say anything. This time his wife got hurt by a thorn and winced in pain. The husband saw this and said “Don’t you know there are thorns here, have you gone blind?”

If this story sounds similar to one of yours, it is a bad indication and needs immediate attention. You need to start over again. You can start by first forgiving each other of whatever sensitive issues you have faced in the past. This also means that you actually have to forget the issue, never to bring it up again in future. You will no longer have the right to nag your spouse for it. Once you have this out of the way, it’s time for renewing the good memories of your past and bringing them into your present. This will take time, so be prepared to maintain patience. A good idea is to begin flirting with your spouse. This is a great way to spice up your married life! Use pickup lines, ask for a date, go separately in a restaurant and make passes at each other – act out a pickup and fool the people around you, then laugh over it! Be a little naughty, tease him under the table at a restaurant, wear some sexy dresses and use a lot of makeup, kiss him in public, in short; get your spouse’s attention and keep it! Listed below are few dos and don’ts for a great married life:

Dos:

Be touchy! The power of a loving touch can do more wonders in your relationship than anything else. Holding hands together in a theatre, while watching TV, sleeping, or even while waiting in a queue doesn’t cost you anything. Nor does playing with your mate’s hair, giving a gentle rub, or a soft kiss cost anything!

Give Space! While closeness is extremely important, so is giving sufficient personal space. Don’t stick around like a tail or bore her to death. This space will make your spouse look forward to meeting you again, even anxiously waiting, at times.

Exclude all subjects from ever being discussed where there is a strong difference of opinion, especially for politics, places of interest, sports, etc. If she doesn’t like a particular politician or a certain sport, why debate? Stick to conversations that both like or are at least comfortable with.

Be flexible and accept your mistakes. You won’t be right all the time so gather all your courage and say sorry when you have to.

Keep private information shared by your spouse in complete confidence. This also includes intimate information, past affairs, private photographs, etc.

Instead of always giving some excuse or the other, try to work out solutions to whatever limitations you face in attending to your responsibilities.

Keep abuse out of your life. Abuse should neither be inflicted, nor be tolerated, be it physical, mental, or verbal. If your spouse abuses you, seek a joint counseling immediately. If this is not agreeable, ensure your safety by immediately leaving to your closest relative /friend who you trust.

Be kind to each other. We’ve heard that “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. This sounds like common sense but is found lacking aplenty. If your spouse is working all day on a computer, walk up from behind and give a neck and shoulder massage. If your spouse is working on your lawn on a hot summer day, walk up with a huge glass of cold lemonade.

Don’ts:

Don’t take a comment, or a movement as a serious problem, learn to lighten up things as often as you can. We all make mistakes – if your spouse makes one, let it go and laugh about it. Your goal should be to break the tension, not alleviate it.

Never fight in public, especially in front of your children. While it is OK to disagree a bit (and even healthy if controlled), don’t let things go out of hand. If a serious argument is unavoidable choose a secluded place where others are not involved.

Don’t forget the power of touch as mentioned earlier, especially if you’re having a major clash. The best way to stop a fight is to simply walk over to your spouse and give a tight hug! If (s)he responses, follow with a kiss. If she responds, give a little tickle and make fun of the whole issue.

Never talk about divorce in your relationship and that includes even when you’re joking. These things aren’t easily forgettable and will be remembered and blamed for when there is serious trouble.

Don’t get addicted to your computer or TV. These are major relationship disturbers, according to recent surveys.

If you enjoyed reading my article and would like to read more, you can find them at http://www.bharatbhasha.com/author.php/Nirjara Rustom

nirjara rustom moderates the family matters section of http://www.bharatbhasha.com at http://www.bharatbhasha.com/family.php – a free informative resource.

Related posts:

  1. Sprucing Up Your Married Life on Shoestring Resources According to a survey, a growing number of people are searching for marriage advice on the internet, based on the reports of search engines. It’s no surprise really, when recession is at its peak, job uncertainty and layoff is at its highest, inflation rises constantly, the demands for today’s environment necessitates constantly keeping abreast of […]…
  2. Don’t Be the Interrogator! During the ten years I’ve been coaching women, I’ve worked with many successful career women. Something that is very common among them is that they forget how to flirt. They’ve devoted so much time and effort into building their careers and becoming part of a “man’s” world, that they forget how to flirt. Now don’t […]…
  3. How To Have An Exciting First Date Everyone’s nervous when it comes to the first date. It is in the first date that impressions are built. Whatever you say or do in this date will become a reference on whether or not there’s still a second date to anticipate. So in order to score that second date, you put your best foot […]…
  4. Dating and Personality-Will Good Looks Alone Make You Happy It’s a very common attribute amongst people. People judge others by their looks all the time. However, when hoping to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with then it is important to silence this trait and be able to look for the more important attributes of someone’s personality. Unfortunately, everybody does […]…
  5. The Various Keys to a Happy Relationship If one were to ask five different couples to list the keys to a happy relationship, there would likely be an amazing variety of different answers. Even if a couple shares the same values, how those values are listed can vary depending on perception, gender, experience and many other factors. In the long run, individuals […]…
  6. Putting Your Controlling Ex Spouse in His or Her Place This article provides readers with tips on putting their ex spouses in his or her place. It includes advice like standing your ground, getting away from your ex spouse, and more. Read it if you want to take control of your personal life and feel free to choose what way to go and what to […]…
  7. What to Do When Your Spouse Takes You For Granted When you’re dating someone, it seems like they have a great knack for making you feel appreciated, loved and placed upon a pedestal. However, as daily lives take over and we have to worry about finances, careers, children and the household – that pedestal seems to get lower and lower. If you’re being taken advantage […]…
  8. 7 Amazing Tips On How To Maintain A Healthy And Happy … Relationships are hard. Each and every single one of them, everywhere, and with everybody. Inter-racial relationships are even harder. This is mainly because of the values and cultural differences as well as stereotypes. However, that does not mean that these relationships never work. In fact, many people have made their inter-racial relationships work, and have […]…
  9. How to Pick Up Married Women with Little to No Effort Many of you men out there may believe that there are no more good women out there or that they are hard to come by. It is true that when a man meets the woman of his dreams, he will do anything to get her; and by her already having a man doesn’t stop him. […]…
  10. Free Online Dating – The Do’s And Don’ts … Everything has a set of rules that define it. So does free online dating. Here we give you a few pointers in this regard. Read on to find out more. Doing the rounds of online dating? Are you plagued by doubts and questions? Face it – free online dating is not your usual traditional dating […]…

204 total views, 1 so far today

  


Listed: December 13, 2008 4:08 am