The relationship game provides plenty of entertainment, although it makes us cry as often as it makes us laugh. Perhaps it is because nobody gave us the book of rules. So, we employ the true and trusted trial and error method, fumbling as we go along. Chaos ensues. There seems to be no method to this madness. Hold on, there is. Here is the key to understand the game and make it work for you.

Once you know the rules, life becomes a lot easier. You begin to read situations and people correctly, and you know your next move. The rules never fail. There is no negotiating, ever. Alas, they are not that easy to follow. There is plenty to learn and to watch out for. However, you now have a road map. You can arrive at your destination, skirting manholes, hopping over gutters, and avoiding the bad side of town. You can be where you want to be.

* Rule No. 1: The hero wins the game

It may take what appears to be an eternity. Yet, in the end the villains will be vanquished, the victims restored and the heroes will glory in their victory. Victims and heroes know this intuitively. Villains never believe it until it is too late. The heroes win the game in the end.

* Rule No. 2: You attract into your life exactly the lessons you need to learn

Been there, done that? Forget it! If it shows up with uncanny regularity, you are not home and dry yet. Until you have healed your hurts on an emotional, mental, physical and spiritual level, you will replay the same scenario like a broken record. Your initial adversary may have long passed on, but similar people will show up to play in his or her place.

* Rule No. 3: The books must be balanced

Since all of us play all three roles, with different intensities, no one can claim to be sanctity personified, not even heroes. As long as we are human, we make mistakes. Yet all our misdeeds must be balanced in equal measure. If we do not see to it ourselves, life will. In the meantime, our guilty conscience haunts us with nightmares. How much fun is that?

* Rule No. 4: The game progresses through three levels

Life is much like school: you progress from kindergarten to elementary school to university. The initial level is adversity. Things do not go as planned. There are obstacles to overcome, and a budding hero or villain will overcome them. In the second level, adversity makes way for an adversary. Not to worry, the foe is usually weaker than you are, and you can handle him or her with the strength you developed at level one. The final stage of the game is much more demanding. Here, the streetwise hero must deal with hard-core criminals, often better organized and better armed than he is. Warning: Playing the game at this level can be fatal, and often is.

* Rule No. 5: The invisible player takes over when you least expect it

The invisible player is part of each of us. Mostly he goes unnoticed. Yet, he watches out for any signs of danger. Then he takes over. He overrules our mind, body, emotions and soul. Neuroscience has proven so. He was ancient when the dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. The modern world means nothing to him. So, he fights tooth and claw to protect the only treasure he has: you. He will be your final challenge. You cannot vanquish him. He is part of you. However, you must team up with him and persuade him to let you handle modern day challenges, like your relationships, sex, money and food.

There is no need for you to continue to grope as you go along. By understanding the rules of the relationship game, you can set aside confusion. Play the game to win, and be rewarded with love and strength. Yes, you can live “happily after ever.”

loy combs, a relationship researcher and consultant for over forty years, teaches you the secret rules of the relationship game. extract yourself from drama and begin a new life. get your free relationship test to determine your position on this chessboard called life at http://www.loycombs.com

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