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Dating With HIV – Your First Face to Face Date


Dating with HIV is no different when it comes to first dates than for those who are dating without the condition. This is due to the fact that first dates are all about getting to know the person you are seeing. This is best done in an environment which is conducive to a certain amount of intimacy whilst giving you the protection of being public. The whole situation should allow you both to be able to have a really good conversation in order to really get to know each other in a more personal way than online chatting on the HIV dating site could ever do.

If the weather is mild, then a walk in the park, along the riverbank or a lake provides a wonderful public but intimate setting which is helpful to romance. This way you can take the time to listen to each others stories and stroll along or sit on a bench somewhere to rest and chat.

If it is wintertime or just cold, then it will be better to take your first date inside and go somewhere cosy and warm. The most obvious places which contribute to intimacy are good cafes, small restaurants and bars. It is important at this stage you do not decide to meet up at either your place or theirs. You need to take things slowly and learn more about them. Talking on the online HIV dating site has given you an impression of what this person is like. However you can learn something so different when meeting face to face.

When dating with HIV or dating, in general it is a good idea to stay clear of places which will not help you learn more about each other. Places which are full of people, or are dark or noisy really should be avoided. If you need to shout to be heard or are cramped and crowded this could end up ruining the date, as there will be little intimacy and chances of misunderstandings. By going to somewhere with good lighting and a background music which sets the scene but does not overpower, you will be able to learn so much more by observing body language, facial expression and gestures.

Stress levels are going to be high as you embark on your first date together. The differences between chatting on the HIV dating site and actually meeting up face to face can are quite substantial and cause anxiety. For this reason should you decide to go to a restaurant, make sure it is not too expensive or too fancy. The last thing you want is for your date to feel out of place or to worry about the cost involved. Even if you pay for your own food, the prices could be more than they are comfortable with.

Finally just ensure that wherever you go on your first date, you find a way of building upon the relationship you have commenced when chatting on the HIV dating site. Try and go somewhere with water and spend an intimate evening or afternoon talking. Cosy cafes are great for adding to the day and they will allow you to spend as long as you like over a coke and a cake.

This article is contributed by Alison Pullen from the HIVMatch Publishing Team. She works together with founders Richard and Nigel and writes dating/relationship articles. You can find more about Dating with HIV and HIVMatch by visiting their website and blog which has all manner of relationship and dating articles.

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Listed: October 13, 2011 8:38 am