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Common Setbacks in Online Dating


Dating online can be a great way to meet people. It’s non-threatening, easy, and really helps you screen potential partners for all the things you’re looking for in a mate. Their interests, religion, sense of humor… whatever. But just because online dating seems like a simple solution on the outside doesn’t mean that it always goes smoothly. Just like traditional dating, there are plenty of little hurdles and setbacks that will get in your way. You just need to know how to jump over them and keep moving.

Setback #1: Your profile isn’t getting any replies.

You might not be the type of person to just throw a profile up on the Internet with no thought to its content. But even if you spent a lot of time composing a profile that you felt accurately and appealingly describes you and your personality, you might not get a lot of replies. Don’t take it personally… it simply means that you need to do some work on your profile.

A few common online dating profile mistakes are using too-stiff language, showing yourself as prickly or picky, sounding negative, not posting a picture, or using the wrong kind of dating site. Not sure if any of these apply? Have a friend look over your profile and give you an honest critique.

Setback #2: Nothing seems to come of your online “flirting.”

You send winks or other online flirts. And when others wink at or flirt with you, you respond. But nothing comes of it. When this happens… don’t worry about it. Sometimes it’s just that your profile doesn’t appeal to the person you’re flirting with. Or somebody that’s flirting with you has already gotten something started with somebody else.

It’s important to be just as ready to be rejected online as you are in real life… because it’s going to happen. Just remember that, online, rejection is easier to handle. This person doesn’t even know you… so just brush it off and move on.

Setback #3: The ever-mysterious vanishing act.

This happens all the time in online dating… and in a variety of ways. Sometimes, you can start an email correspondence with somebody online, and feel like things are going well. You like them, they like you. But one day, that person just… poof!… disappears without a word. Most often, this happens because the person you’ve been chatting with has also been talking to several others– and decided to focus his or her energies on somebody else.

Another “incarnation” of the great disappearing act is the mysterious disappearing profile. This also happens more often than you might think. You find a profile you like, and maybe you keep visiting it for a few days or weeks. Either you can’t decide whether or not to reply, or you have to work up the courage… but when you finally go to contact the owner of the profile, their profile has disappeared.

Don’t let this discourage you. People often remove their profiles from sites when they meet somebody new… or when they simply decide that a certain dating site just isn’t for them. There are hundreds of thousands of fish in the online dating “sea.” All you have to do is re-cast your line.

use planjam.com to for dating advice and find great date ideas.

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Listed: September 4, 2008 9:53 pm