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Can’t we Just be Friends?

We’ve all heard it at one time or another. Embedded in between those words is the message “We are not going to be intimate.”

The “Can’t we just be friends?” question is almost instinctive in a woman when she’s trying to keep a guy at arm’s distance.

That’s because for women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.

It’s as though women have two separate file folders: FRIENDS and POTENTIAL LOVERS and there is no mixing of the two. Worse yet, once she puts you into the FRIENDS folder it’s nearly impossible to make a switch to the other.

This is why it is so important not to act like a friend during the early stages of getting to know a woman. It is next to impossible to make it into the POTENTIAL LOVER folder after you’ve been relegated to the FRIENDS folder.

If you do the kind of things friends do, she will see you as belonging in the FRIENDS folder, even if she initially felt ATTRACTION for you.

Virtually every guy that a woman meets gets categorized. Some, more quickly than others. Nonetheless, every guy is labeled.

So, we have to ask ourselves how women decide between “just friends” and “I’ll be intimate with you”. And why is it so hard to make a jump to the POTENTIAL LOVER folder with a woman that has put you in the FRIENDS folder?

Like most riddles, the answer to this question will not be found through normal thought processes. It requires a shift in how we think.

What tells a woman whether the guy she’s with is “friend” material or “lover” material is how she FEELS. It is NOT logic. Therein is the problem for guys. We tend to use logic — but women use emotions and feelings to make decisions about men and then they try to use logic to justify their decisions.

The point is that logic isn’t important in this context. So, trying to respond with logic is fruitless. Give it up!

A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the basis for her “decisions” and actions with a particular guy.

If she gets the “Yuck!” feeling at the thought of being intimate with a guy, then her “logical” conclusion will be that she does not want to date the guy.

On the other hand, if she gets giggly and feels warm fuzzies all over, then her “logical” conclusion will be that this guy is interesting and attractive and a good choice to date. She has herself convinced that it was a logical decision, but in fact it was an emotional and physical decision.


With all this in mind, it’s significant to note how most guys behave around women that they’re romantically interested in?

He takes her to dinner … and compliments her a lot … and buys her flowers … and phones her often….

These are all the messages that HE’s interested. They are NOT things that trigger the emotional and physical feelings inside of a woman.

Men act as though women don’t understand that they are interested and that they have to keep sending women messages as though sooner or later she’ll get the message and feel ATTRACTION in response.

Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to ATTRACTION and/or arousal.

There is another danger that men don’t think about but they are on a clock so to speak. Every minute you are with a woman you are drifting toward the FRIENDS folder unless you are actively working against it.

Spend a lot of time with her being “nice” and you are making a new friend.
You have to stop thinking that by fixing all the problems in her life that you are going to be seen as a potential lover.

You are not her therapist, her financial advisor, counselor, girlfriend, confessor, mentor, or anything else that will get you a first class ticket to the FRIENDS folder. Is that what you want?

There will be plenty of time to become friends AFTER you have bedroom privileges.

It’s curious. Once you make it to LOVER status, doing all the things that friends do is OK. It’s not logical. But, let’s not forget. We’re talking about women here.

Hopefully, this is beginning to make sense for you. Let’s think like guys for a minute, using logic, and see if I can suggest a strategy (what a great word!).

First of all, when you notice or meet an attractive woman that you are interested in, don’t act like all the other idiots trying to nice their way into her pants. She’ll tag you as one of the herd and certainly won’t be feeling attraction.

Rather, do something different. Be unique. You have to set yourself apart somehow in her mind. That’s where the MACKnificent Strategies come in.

The Strategies certainly are not the only way of distinguishing yourself but they work. If you learn and practice them, when you entertain women with your special skills they will think of you as being specially connected with them as evidenced by your “clairvoyance”, your ability to “foresee” certain things, your “psychokinetic” skills and your “psychic” abilities.

Roll this together with a plan and some MACKing behaviors and the FRIENDS folder won’t be a concern for you. Women will not be able to forget you.

the macknificent strategies and memorable macking behaviors can be found at http://www.bestinfofound.com

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Listed: November 12, 2008 4:08 pm