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Are You a Halloween Cockblocker


I’m just sitting here with Anthony right now – Anthony comes up here every Tuesday morning to hang out.

We’re just sitting here and my cell phone just went off. My ring tone happens to be Michael Myers – the theme song from the movie Halloween.

Anthony looked at me and said, “David, do you know what? Michael Myers is the ultimate cockblocker! Every time a couple is about to have hot sex (or they just finished with it) Michael Myers shows up and kills them!”

So, with Halloween coming up, the question is: who is the ultimate cockblocker?

First, there is Michael Myers, who shows up with his mask when the couple is supposed to be babysitting. You can see him, but the couple can’t, and they have sex like crazy and then Michael Myers comes out and kills one of them in the bathroom.

So Michael Myers either a) has never had sex before so he’s jealous of them and has to kill them, or b) is really a pervert and gets off on this whole thing. Perhaps to him the sex is the foreplay and the killing is the actual orgasm.

But let’s think about the other famous cockblockers in history this Halloween. What about Freddy Krueger?

Freddy Krueger used to mess with you too. You would never be able to have sex with your girlfriend, because he would nail you before you got the opportunity.

Do you remember Johnny Depp in the original Nightmare on Elm Street? He was just making out in bed, and then all of a sudden Freddy showed up and just took him. Freddy Krueger didn’t even allow you have sex before he got you.

What about Jason from Friday the 13th? Man, you’d finally get to sneak away with that hot and sexy camp counselor and you’d be banging her in the storage closet. It was great. And then she’d have to go pee, of course, after sex, and she’d be singing away in the bathroom.

And then, all of a sudden, Jason would come in behind you as you were lay in bed thinking of a hot round 2.

You’d say, “man, you came back from the bathroom quickly,” and then you’d hear the Jason music and he’d use a hatchet to cut you up into a million pieces.

It seems like there have been a lot of famous cockblockers out there in history. And with Halloween coming right around the corner, we have to know: who are the other famous cockblockers in horror movies? It seems like a staple of every horror movie is the world’s worst cockblocker.

When you’re out this Friday night and you think your friend is cockblocking you – or a girl is cockblocking you – think of that person as Michael Myers.

And the next time you’re talking a woman with a group of her friends and one of the friends cockblocks you, just look at her and picture her with a Halloween mask on and smile. Say to the cockblocker, “excuse me, do you know that you remind me of someone?”

She’ll say, “who?” And you can reply, “Michael Myers from Halloween.” And then tell the whole group this story. She will laugh her ass off! Have fun with this.

And let me know – who are some other famous modern day cockblockers?

hailed on fox news, the la times, the ny times, playboy and more… legendary dating coach launches a new revolution for over nearly 20 years david wygant has been earning the trust of american men and women looking to transform their love lives. (http://www.davidwygant.com)

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Listed: October 30, 2008 8:08 am