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6 Essential Secrets to a Blissful and Long Lasting …


Contrary to most conventional wisdom, it is not your looks, your money, your job or even your luck, that is going to land you that great relationship, and keep it sizzling. No, the secret is all in your attitude.

Here are my 6 essential secrets for successful relationships:

1. Stop competing with each other! Good relationships are all about being on the same side. What is the purpose in scoring all those points? Sure you may cross the finish line first today, and maybe tomorrow as well. But you will be all alone when you do, and if you carry on this way, eventually you may not have anyone left in your life to compete with! So stop competing; stop player-hating; start concentrating on crossing that finish line as part of a winning team.

2. Listen, communicate and hear! One of my favorite parts of my great relationship period, is to sit and chat with my wife. We talk about big stuff, and small stuff; share plans and pains, and each of us engages with what the other is saying. We never use silence as a weapon, and we never go to bed mad. Master the simple art of real conversation, and your relationship is halfway home!

3. Understand a relationship is not about ownership. This is probably the most common personal problem I come across. Possessiveness and jealousy are two of the most destructive of all human forces. Very few relationships will survive the poison of this twin-horned devil. Let it go!

4. Pay yourself first every day! The most important relationship of all is the one you have with yourself! That means taking care of your body, mind and spirit every single day. It is simply called self-respect. I can guarantee you, that if you do not care for yourself, then few others will. Why should they? If you have already demonstrated your own low self-esteem, who am I, or anyone else, to argue with that? Take care of yourself first each day, in order to be strong enough to take care of the people you care about.

5. Put the romance back! You just cannot beat it. A romantic gesture says: “At this moment, I am thinking 100% of you, and your needs, and I want to do everything I can to please you.” It also says a great deal about your own self-esteem. You would be amazed how many people are motivated to make romantic gestures because of the praise they will receive, not the pleasure they will give. That is not romance, its selfish. Learn to discern. Become a Master of Romance. It will spice up your life!

6. Learn how to bend, but never so far that you snap. Relationships are all about give and take. It is OK to bend with the wind sometimes. That is the nature of the dance. But it is not OK to bow over so far, so often, and so low, that you get worn down, weaken and snap. Learn how much to give, how much to take, and when to walk away.

So, remember, the secret to a long and blissful relationship is all in your attitude!

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Listed: October 11, 2010 12:03 pm