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Should You Forgive a Cheating Spouse?


Realizing that your spouse is cheating on you is always a stressful experience. That realization will surely cause you grief, anger and perhaps even a feeling of low self-esteem. However, as you start getting over these emotions, the following question arises logically: should you forgive your cheating spouse, and try to get with your lives, or break it up, there and then.

The Scenario

There are many things to consider in this scenario. Usually it is the rest of the family, the children, to be specific, that first come to mind. They are the reason why most people forgive their cheating spouse for the adultery. And it is definitely something that needs to be kept in mind. A divorce is a very painful procedure, emotionally. Especially for the children. And if those children are also in a particular age, a divorce might cause them traumas that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Feelings

Ok, so you have made up your mind, and decided to try and forgive your cheating spouse. What next? Well, as always in a relationship, the most important thing is having the right communication. Now that is usually a problem, because the lack of communication is the most often reason why there was adultery in the first place. Also, in it is very hard to stay calm in such a situation, and try to get your message across. It is hard for you to control your feelings, but do not disregard the possibility that your spouse is feeling very bad himself. In most cases, cheating spouse admits that he is feeling bad because of the situation, and more often than not, he is willing to try and rectify it.

What to Keep in Mind

A very important thing to keep in mind when dealing with a cheating spouse is to only forgive him if that is the first time! This is crucial. Furthermore, even in that case, most spouses will be prone to cheat again. However, if you have already decided on forgiving, you should stick to your decision. Make sure that the cheating spouse listens to all you have to say, and also, try to get feedback. Try to see how that cheating spouse truly feels. Evaluate his words, and only if you feel that they are honest, you should definitely decide for forgiveness.

The Alternative

But what if your cheating spouse cheats you again? Then there is no real alternative than leaving him, and ending that marriage. Although that may seem like a painful solution is the only practical in the long term, as a marriage in which one side constantly suffers the frustration of being cheated by a cheating spouse, is more likely to create emotional complexes, both for the children (if there are any), and for the spouses, than a properly organized divorce would.

So, remember, forgive once. After that, the trust is surely gone, and that is the time to break it up. No matter what it costs.

Christine Crotts secretly likes to look through the medicine cabinets of her friends. Christine has written a site containing reviews on wood medicine cabinet, as well as corner medicine cabinet.

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Listed: July 4, 2011 4:38 am